Dear Xinli

I just want you to know that last week I spoke to the fireworks manufacturer to produce alot of fireworks.
I told him to make big ones and small ones.

Then I called Najib and told him to instruct all states to shoot fireworks at 12 for you. He asked me why. I said that you are the fourth X that I know in my life.  The others are Xmas, Xylaphone and Xray.

He was not convinced or amused.  So I told him that you are a very good doctor.  And God knows how hard that is to come by.  And because he just recovered from chicken pox, he sort of softened by my  reason.  I went on, 'we have alot of artis and the followers of the  artis, throw in business people, and IT people, loafers and bumpkins, but we are always short of doctors and people get sick every other minute. Pleeeze....

So how good is she, Najib asked.  I said, I guarantee she has what it takes.  And judging from her friends, she is a blessing to the nation.  Pleeeze....

Finally he said ok and tonight, when we see fireworks, from your end and  from my end, please note they are for you on your birthday.  The small ones or the ones that did not go off are for 2011.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

fog

Last few days I got nice sentences with the word fog.  Fog like many other nature attributes can be wonderful metaphors when we write.  Fog, like rainbow, spring, clouds, rain and the sun symbolizes many things and feelings because they are part and parcel of our world.

Tak kan lari gunung di kejar
Hilang kabus nampak lah ia

You do not have to chase a mountain
When the fog fades away, it will be seen

The line 'when the fog is lifted' in the song in the cartoon movie Repunzal is about seeing something you have not seen before.  It goes this way too, seeing something which is there for the first time.

So, have you ever been foggy?  I have. Big time foggy. I was one Foggy Froggy.

I use to go by my instinct to judge something until I realised too late, my instinct is  wrong. Or come to think of it,  I was right,  but only to a certain point, a very small aspect, but....on the whole....WRONG. Huhu.

Sometimes, the fog clears after life gives you a slap on the face.

What takes for the fog to clear? Opening our eyes.  Learning from mistakes.  Accepting facts no matter how much it hurts.  Being brave. Being honest. Having a clean heart.  Through prayers.

........................

When I was young I couldn’t wait to be a grown up. I wanted to do what I could not do then. I wanted to feel the thrill of doing exciting things. Of having things under control. I wanted my own stuff that I didn’t need to share with my siblings. I wanted to make my own money so that I didn’t have to keep asking. I wanted to make my own decisions without listening to the nags. I wanted to get rid of the school uniforms. I wanted to drive a car. I wanted to fly a plane. I wanted to ride an adult roller coaster. I wanted to go wherever I want, no strings attached. I wanted this. I wanted that.

Now I’m a grown up. And what I want now, is to be a child again.

Playing and running free.

Singing along with Timon, Pumba and Simba:

“Hakuna Matata…”

“It means no worries…for the rest of your dayyyyysssss..”

If only I can turn back time.

Sigh.

I want to sail. But I'm trapped in a bottle.

I guess, Life goes on, huh?

So many beautiful people

I don't think I can stop writing for too long.  Aishah is right, itchy fingers.  Itchy to write something, long or short.

I am back in kl from kb. Still unsure of what 2011 would be like, in terms of big decisions.  With 2 aunties here for wedding and shopping purposes, I am very busy to keep them entertained.

On Saturday I was to escort Aunty Yah to her niece's wedding from her father' side. Ok, can do.  The wedding was at Kerinchi Community Hall at Lembah Pantai, an elegant building at the end of the road.  The theme was white and light blue,  the dais  white and blue under one big four post and 2 small four post, draped with white chiffon with fresh flowers, also white and blue on both sides.  Blue being one of my favourite colours, everything was beautiful to my eyes. So many beautiful people, dressed in their best, but I knew no one, and no one knew me.

Last night Sunday, I was invited to take over 2 sittings at a grand wedding with Aunty Yah since Shima is down with chicken pox,  held at One World Hotel Ballroom in Damansara Utama.  More beautiful people this time the theme is pink.  Pink roses and maroon dahlias permeates the hall, dais in apple green flowing satin backdrop and pink columns with pink and maroon flowers on top.

We sat with Abang Mi's family who oozes wealth by their jewelleries and beautiful clothes. Just my luck, I was so busy, I did not even have time to buy clothes knowing full well I have to sit among these people!! Alamak! Never mind, wearing whatever buju kurung that I have and the same slippers I go to the market with, I just traipsed into the ballroom, ready to be wallpaper. No one knows me here too and vice versa.

I just realize I really do not know many people.....

Kepada Andrea

Kepada Andrea yang tidak mengenali ku

Kalaulah kamu membaca warkah ini, buat mu, dari seorang insan yang mempunyai hati untuk menulis, walaupun bakat tidak seberapa.  Tidak seperti kamu. Tidak ape ya, biarkan saja aku berangan bersama anak-anak ku, kerana kau kan percaya pada mimpi. (impian, bukan mimpi tidur)

Aku amat meminati buku-buku mu. Buku-buku mu menyentuh samudra hati ku, yang dalam dan yang cetek, sehinggakan apabila ku membacanya, ada ketika airmata ku mengalir dan ada kala aku ketawa sendirian, senyum sendirian, sehinggakan aku terpanggil untuk menulis coretan ini.

Dari cerita-cerita kamu, kamu telah memberi aku signal-signal penting.  Bagaimana jadi begitu ya, sedangkan ia hanya sebuah buku dan aku seorang insan yang tidak berhubung langsung dengan mu. Agaknya itu lah rahsia tentang keikhlasan dalam penulisan yang datang dari hati, sehingga ia mampu mengetuk pintu hati orang lain.

Bila kau menceritakan tentang ayah mu amat kamu kasihi, aku amat faham bagaimana kasih ayah mu itu telah menghangatkan hati mu dan mencengkam hati mu dengan kasihnya walaupun beliau jarang berkata-kata. Kerana buat ku, kasih sayang itu bukan ungkapan kata-kata, tetapi perbuatan.  Banyak ibu-bapa yang mencurah anak-anak dengan ungkapan yang kosong, hanya di bibir, sekadar untuk menggantikan diri mereka yang tidak punya masa buat anak mereka.  Kau sungguh beruntung, Andrea.

Bila kau ceritakan tentang ibu-bapa mu, aku dapat menangkap bahawa kau dari satu keluarga yang utuh, walaupun miskin.  Apa gunanya kekayaan sekiranya  rumahtangga porak peranda.

Kau berkerja keras dari kecil sehingga kau dapat membiayai pengajian mu.  Segala usaha mu membanting tulang, memerah keringat telah di makbulkan Allah untuk kamu mencapai cita-cita mu sehingga kau berjaya hari ini.  Sebab itu, rezeki yang paling baik adalah rezeki yang di dapati dari tulang empat kerat, dari titik peluh kita yang di berkati Allah.  Dari usaha yang murni akan hasilkan sikap-sikap yang murni jua.

Kadang-kadang duit pemberian yang banyak datang dengan syarat-syarat yang banyak. Apa rasanya untuk berjaya dengan hasil sendiri, bebas merdeka.

Kamu ada kampung halaman yang telah memberi kamu satu definasi.  Kalau lah kau tahu orang-orang yang tidak rasa dia sebahagian dari mana-mana tempat. Mencari dan mencari,  entah apa.   Alangkah harunya. Adakah ia salah satu dari 44 kegilaan yang kau tulis itu?

Kami yang mahu menulis sedang merangkak, kau sudah terbang di angkasa, kerana kau menjejak mimpi mu.  Ada insan, tangan di ikat di langit , kaki di pasak ke bumi, tidak mampu bergerak jauh. Aku hanya menulis dari jendela ku.

Hanya aku doakan kamu jangan lepaskan hukum-hukum Allah, sebagai paksi hidup, kerana ramai penulis yang sesat kerana terlalu tinggi terbang menjulang.  Aku sebagai peminat setia mu mendoakan kamu sentiasa di perlihara Allah swt dan dalam hidup ini dan terima kasih kerana telah meleraikan banyak simpulan-simpulan  hati ku apabila aku menjumpai banyak signal-signal dari buku mu dari apa yang kamu dapati ketika kamu mengejar mimpi-mimpi mu.

Aku juga telah menukar nama ku sebanyak 3 kali.

Peminat mu, Noris Rashidah Nor Izzah.

SPECIAL EDITION

BILIK 1, HOSPITAL KOTA BHARU

I volunteered to watch over Siti Nor Hidayat, my little cousin, in the ward for suspected denggi  since my Uncle Din is bedridden and cannot be left unattended.

Having a thing for hospitals and all in it, (some subconsious link not analysed) it is a breeze for me. Making her take liquids  (water thrusted to her face every 30 mins and then 20 min intervals)popping cadbury chocolate in her mouth when she does not have appetite to eat, and changing it to keropok when she had enough cadbury, sponging her when the temp got too high, checking if the drip is dripping, like they say...a piece of cake. A other relatives thought I was 'queer' for looking as though I was enjoying it.

Bed 1, Norfatin, has renal failure. At 20 she can only take carbs and a small cup of water. So kesian. Measure intake, measure urine, it is not easy.  A student nurse, the other student nurses flocks to her bed and smother her with their 'care' and kept the ward really cheerful and noisy.

Bed 2. Siti Nor Hidayat, very high fever, suspected denggi and not proven till discharged. Lanky, pretty and serious.  The male nurses asked her if she is the one taking stpm at the hospital.  She is only 12.

Bed 3. Kak Ha whom I befriended and gave me many recipes.  Typhoid.  First few days of high fever, given no medication. Just sponging and sponging. I gave her coolents to put on forehead. When fever subsided, given many medication.  Must have a reason.

Bed 4. Name too faint to read. Swallowed 15 panadols at one go. Major tiff with mum. hmm..Won't change into hospital gear. Wears hospital shirt on her clothes.  Hmm...

Bed 5 Kak Mariam. Multiple sickness. Must have a big family. Her bedside companion  changes everynight, man, young man, boy, fat lady, thin lady.

Bed 6.  Wardina. Denggi. Comes with a husband who snores, hugs the wife alot, whispering and snuggling close that Kak Mariam closes the curtain on them.  Husband does not wake up until 12pm, with whole head covered in blanket, half body on chair, half body on bed.

Last night was so cold, I could not sleep at all. Went out from the ward, sat on a nurse's chair and read 'Sang Pemimpi' (his 4th book)  by Andrea Hirata till 5 am.

Today, after 4 days, Hidayat is discharged.

Special Edition 2

THE OLD SHINE

Yesterday my new friend and I went up the house to clean up

It is in a sorry state, and our feet were black due to the dirt

Curtains caked by many years of dust and neglect

The air damp by closed windows and lifelessness

This morning, we went to buy RM100 worth of cleaning materials

Mop, brooms, soaps, gloves, brush

Sweeping, wiping, moping, dusting

To bring out the old shine

Cobwebs everywhere, listless but stubborn

Cobwebs in the heart were harder to sweep away

Memories came flooding back, together with

The smells of those days when we were staying here

The old clothes, the old handbags, the old bed

The pictures were louder

The cups we used

The dull crokery we left behind

This is what they say that what is yours will never leave you and what is not will never be yours

These dusty musty lack luster bricks and bracks

Never went away

And for what I did not achieve to get, these things never went away

To Mama with Love

Dearest Mama,

Go wherever you wish

For you are wounded, battle scarred

Leaving reluctant hearts behind

But

Our hugs and kisses are always with you

We shall patiently wait

For a new dawn each day

And watch the tiny sprouts

Evolving into blossomed tulips

And

We shall wait for your return

To embrace the long awaited bliss

Making way for next year

For one year I have been writing in this blog.  To whoever read it, my thanks for your time.

I will be hibernating this december so I guess this is the end of this episode.

My apologise to all for any mistakes and I hope my I have done no one wrong. 

Thank you, my darlings. 

Pretty in Pink

CHECKLIST YANG LEBIH TERPERINCI

• Mengenali Allah
• Selalu mengambil wuduk
• Taat pada Allah dan Rasul
• Menjauh tipu daya dunia dan perbuatan lagha
• Mengekang nafsu
• Keikhlasan dalam beramal
• Bertaubat dengan tulus
• Bercakap benar
• Memiliki sifat orang yang beriman
• Meninggalkan sangka buruk, mengumpat dan mengintip aib orang lain
• Menjauhi hasad dengki
• Menjauhi riba
• Bertakwa dan bertawakal pada Allah
• Menjaga sekelian anggota
• Membuat persediaan untuk mati
• Tidak rasa aman dari balasan Allah
• Tidak putus asa dari rahmat Allah
• Menunaikan amanah
• Jangan berbangga dan bermegah dengan nikmat Allah
• Tidak rasa sedih dan kecewa dengan apa yang hilang
• Memerhati dengan mengambil pengajaran
• Berusaha mencari rezeki yang halal
• Redha dan tidak benci pada ketetapan Ilahi
• Kasih dan memberi kerana Allah
• Memberi kemudahan pada orang lain untuk kebaikan
• Berbuat baik pada ibubapa
• Takuti azab Allah
• Tidak mengungkit pemberian Allah
• Berfikir tentang kejadian Allah
• Bersifat tawadhuk dan kusyuk
• Menjaga diri dan keluarga dari maksiat
• Berdoa dan membersihkan hati
• Menjauh sifat munafik
• Menglangsaikan hutang.

Happy Ever After

From left: Kak Timah's aunt, Kak Timah, Zaki, Adi, Mel, me, Shirin.
Bottom row: Yaya, Hafiz, Mimi

Tisha the flower girl

The Wedding Cake

Melissa's Wedding

Two of my good friends had married off their firstborn.  Siti's Zahidin,(previous post) and Adi's Melissa. Come to think of it,  what do I do when my time comes. The thought gives me palpitations.

So Mimi and I drove down to JB in our little car. I was not able to attend the nikah on Friday so the reception on Saturday is obligatory.  Started out as early as 5.15am, we reached JB at 9.00am. 

I was by Adi from the time Melissa and Zaki decided to tie the knot.  Meaning to say that I was closely in touch from the time of their decision to the fruition of the whole occasion. You see, Adi supported her daughter's decision and plans and I supported Adi. That is how it goes with the two of us, friends from school, both single parents. Most of the wedding plans was done by Melissa with her wedding planner, while Adi's mum decides on the food and caterer.  We, just nod in agreement and chipped in some money for some parts of the kenduri.

When I arrived at the hall that auspicious morning, I was terribly impressed! The whole concept, designs and choices was...all I can say, was soooo Melissa.  Modern, colourful, vibrant and dynamic.  Just like her, a young master's grad in business who is tutoring in one of the local Uni, she had put together some memorable wedding. Wah!!!

In this post Auntie Fish nak ucapkan selamat melayari alam rumahtangga dan semoga bahagia sehingga akhir hayat to Mel and Zaki.

My cute nephew

HAIQAL



Makcik Halimah aka Halimah Senior. Halimah Junior aka Mimi

While beautiful 'happening' ladies are glowing in the company of equally 'happening' company, may they be men or women, I fill my time with my makciks.  How boring can you be.  Oh well...I have never been good with emm...men. (huhu)

In a few days when my brother comes back from Haj, my days at Makcik Halimah's house (Haiqal's grandma) will no longer be necessary.  I have written about my makciks. All great women in my life. We must know where we are going.... what direction we are taking...towards... getting old.  I want a collegen, botoks and artificial hormones free twilight age. (InsyaAllah, if I can) and these ladies, are timeless beauties, to me.

Maklong Ah Ah, teaching the Quran for decades  makes her as sharp as she always was.  She does not need to eat gingko or any memory enhancing supplement.  My Mama Robiyah also teaches the Quran, ever so 'durable'.  Mokcik Moh, who always smile and looks naturally sweet, without makeup . Cik Pah. Looks like she doesn't know, but she does. Close to deaf, but answers your questions.

Mck Halimah is a class act. You just  need to step into her home and see the coordination of everything, placing, colour, mixing, matching  and you will be impressed. She is housewife all her life, but what she had created is a indication of good taste and good judgement and good everything.  She takes care of everything in nothing short from 'the best' possible way.

With perfection in mind,  the results are always wonderful.  Successful children, well-behaved and cute grandchildren, a beautiful home. As long as I knew them, she is always helping her children with their studies, family and careers, that everyone in her family is so loved and cared for, it shows.  Every child in that family has a loving grandmother and grandfather, mum and dad, aunties and uncles and many cute cousins to grow up with, they are what ideal families are made of.  One month with Makcik Halimah gave me alot of good feelings. Is this what it meant by 'yang mana intan, yang mana kaca' when we are asked to select carefully the people we choose as friends or role models.

If I can, I want to learn from her.  One month, basking in her advise, sensibilities, warmth and wisedom, I have become a bit better than yesterday.

Intoxicated

I have finished my third novel by Andrea Hirata and is intoxicated by his writing. Wow and double wow. 

Allah had given him a gigantic talent to be able to narrate in his style and you are gripped to the last page, no cooking or washing or cleaning the house for the day.  He has that effect on me.  His stories somehow does alot of jumping and leaping and bouncing in my heart.

How do I write like him? Sigh.....

Most of all, he inspires me with all his tales.  That our dreams do come true.  That he found parts of him, the mosaics of his life in the things he had done and finding what he believes in, along the way.

I too want to find my mosaics of life, and have found a few already today. Small, chipped and cracked ones.

CHECKLIST

                                                              Done

• Solat awal waktu
• Betulkan solat
• Betulkan bacaan
• Solat sunat
• Ganti puasa
• Puasa sunat
• Bayar fidyah                                      X
• Baca Quran
• Betulkan bacaan
• Baca terjemah                                    X
• Zikir amalan 
• Istighfar                                             X
• Tutup aurat betul2
• Jaga mata
• Jaga telinga
• Jaga mulut
• Jaga hati
• Jaga halal/haram                                 X (makan minum je)
• Buat kebajikan
• Sedeqah
• Fi sabililah
• Amar makruf nahi mungkar                X (sikit)
• Menuntut ilmu                                   X (sikit)

ambil iktibar

Pemergian Jo masih terasa.  Dia muda lagi, baru 46 tahun, sudah di jemput.

Alhamdulilah, Jo seorang yang mudah, berkawan dengannya mudah, dia tak pernahkan menyusahkan orang lain, dan perginya pun mudah.  Tak bangkit dari tidur di waktu subuh, dan di kebumikan pada pukul 11 pagi dari rumah Maklong dan disemadikan di perkuburan sama dengan Paklong dan adiknya Ami.

Di saat ini,  ketika hati masih berkabung, maka terjaga lah dari alpa, betapa kita tidak boleh menjangka bila waktu kita pula untuk berpindah ke sana.

Dah settle ke semua yang wajib? Dah tampung ke semua yang kurang? Dah ganti semua yang tak buat dulu?  Dah betulkan semua ibadat dan kelaku? Dah mintak maaf? Dari Allah, dari insan?

Ramai yang telah meninggalkan saya. Arwah Mami, arwah pakcik2, arwah makcik2, arwah tok2 dan nenek2.

Yang tua lazimnya pergi dahulu, tapi bila yang muda pergi tiba-tiba, it is a wakeup call. Untuk orang seperti saya.   Saya ni senang leka.  Senang dihanyutkan kehidupan.

Kita boleh mula beringat-ingat lepas ni, dan buatlah ape yang patut, insyaAllah.

Jo.... :'(

I just came back from JB. Have been running around quite a bit.  My cousin Jo passed away.Innalilawainnailaihirojiun.

In my heart I feel a heavy stone.  It is like many feelings and memories suddenly got impacted by the  news of his death.  It would take time for this stone to slowly loosen up, smooth out and fade away.

For 3 years of my secondary life in JB, we were close cousin-buddies. Talking, fooling around, pranking and teasing each other.  Then I moved back to KL and we do not see much of each other. He got married and so did I.  But...everytime the few times  we see each other all these years, what we had when we were young, was always there, intact and everlasting.  Only that we have aged and are very out of shape.

He has left all of us suddenly.  Especially his mum, my Maklong Ah Ah to whom he was very 'manja'.  I see Maklong holding up as best as she could, but I can feel her pain and grieve, losing another son. So I discussed the movie 'Asmara' with her, told her about the gossips I derive from Izyan.com,  and told her about my 'hirok-pikok' life, about my brother's children.  Then I would go in the room to stop myself from talking too much nonsense.  Give her a few hours break and then talk about our favourite TV personalities, Wardina, Elly, Fitri and Abby. Then of course, my 'hentam saja'  palm reflexology before she sleeps.  We covered plenty, except about Jo.

For Jo, we mourned quietly together, without a word between us on him.  Jo, rolly polly and jovial, not a malice in his heart, his place in our hearts, especially Mak Long's, can never be replaced.  That, I know.

Haiqal and us

Something wonderful happened today.  You see, For 10 years of his life, Haiqal only eats biscuits, milk and rice with gravy.  He does not eat anything else. Nothing else.  But today, he added one more thing he is willing to eat.  Hajar's cream puff!  I am very  grateful for these creampuffs. Syukur Alhamdulillah. They are indeed rahmat for me.

Day before yesterday he finished the sticker book, his forehead scowling due to thinking really hard.  He looked so serious and adorable.

Next thing I got from the net, is to teach him to repeat nombers. Maybe my hp nomber. Lets see how it goes.

Your theme song

All movie has a sound track. A song that suits the story,  which comes with or without lyrics. Especially in the malay movies nowadays they have a song in the background by our top artist like Siti or Faizal Tahir or Aizat ballading their top hits, to add the extra edge in the movie.

What your song?  What song identifies with you? A song that you can hear over and over and over again, that tells your story, or at  least how it is in your mind or wish it to be.  I like many songs.  That is one thing which I cannot steer out of my life.  Songs. 

I used to love Susan Boyle's rendation of I dream a dream.I go to youtube British got talent for hundreds of times.  I love too our own homegrown 'balada', love too Indonesian balada.  Then came the Korean love songs whose melodies can perk me up even at my lowest low. After that came the phenomenal Maher Zain whose song went on endlessly in our Viva.

But surprise, surprise.  I overated myself for being a 'city-girl' (women) who had loved the songs on the charts or the more 'current', when I have suddenly  found the tunes of my heart in Mimi's CD, compilation of Nasyid.  Summaiyah, Destinasi Cinta,...it sets in deeper than all that I mentioned before this.  My heart is consoled, calms and my mind goes into Alpha mode, when I hear these words....sabarlah keluarga yassir, bagi mu di syurga sana, kau tegar memilih syurga, walau terpaksa berkorban nyawa....destinasi cinta yang ku cari...moga dapat ku berteduh di rendang kasih Mu....

Haiqal and me

Day 3.  I thought Haiqal would not need me today.  A call from Mekah last night with things to buy and my brother sadden by his cries on the phone had proven otherwise.  So this morning, I did my aunty thing and drove dutifully to Mck Halimah's house.  Haiqal called 8 times, 4 answered and 4 went to mailbox. 

Today is outing day to Giant Mall and lunch with Huzaifi and Kina in tow.  I had a good time, putting Haiqal in the shopping trolley and shopping for Hajar's ingrediants. He was well behaved.  I bought sticker activity books for him, to introduce him to books and mental activities. 

We came back to the house, after sticking 5 stickers, he pushed the book away. And shouted 'BOSAN LAH!!'  Obviously he doesn't think much of books.  Then I coaxed, encouraged and cajoled him.  5 more stickers stuck, this time with more thought. Eureka!!! I repeat, with more thought.

Then I told him I have to go home.  He started a terrible, terrible tantrum that made Huzaifi cry.  I  hugged him from the back and Huzaifi hugged him from the front until he quietened. Goodness Gracious me,  I hope I am doing the right thing.  I thought of Anne Sullivan and prayed that I am doing it the right way.  I am sure, if there is love, it won't go wrong. Would it?

I made Huzaifi and Kina make other words from the word encyclopedia and would pay 1 sen for each word.  These two very cute children are cutting alot of classes, so the teacher in me has to give them some lessons. With good incentives.

Tonight I will do some homework on the net because I better equip myself with some knowledge, since being Aunty Cik does not seemed to be enough.

Haiqal and I

Haiqal is my nephew and is a special child.  I don't know what is the medical term for his state, being physically and mentally challenged and a few years delayed in his growth.  My brother Aziz and his wife had put alot of effort in helping him develop and now he can walk, talk and communicate, eventhough not like his peers.

I would meet Haiqal whenever I go to their house and he would always ask to ride in my car.  So I would take him one round and back. By doing this a sort of bond has been formed between him and my family.

Yesterday when Aziz and Kak Anne has to leave him for Haj, Haiqal was really upset, crying and protesting amongst many family members.  Until I took his hand, he let go of his parents.

As their Aunty Cik, I was given some chores by my brother during his absence. Easy stuff, see to the day maid. fetch Helmi and Haifa from their hostel, send back.  But yesterday, when Haiqal wanted to follow us and spent one whole day with us, I think my chores had just increased in manifolds.

Haiqal  at the moment stays with his grandparents. Taking care of him includes a table of procedures. His medication, his food, his likes and dislikes.

I am going again this morning with a few plans in my head for Haiqal and Huzaifi.(see if it works) Out comes the teacher. In MHI this morning, coincidently, one topic discussed was on 'how to leave your children to go for haj'. They say, give them a mini project to fill their time until the parents come back.

Ok, I am off to spend some time with the boys while waiting for the day maid to do her work. 

Being Haiqal's aunt, and loving the cherubic face and his friendly and innocent personality, lets see what he has to teach me today.

Tips on cleaning house part 1

1. Reward yourself when your work is completed.  Get a new brooch for your tudung,  something that you like to eat, a new book or magazine.

 

2. Plan your work

3.Start by evaluating each room and jot down everything that needs to be addressed. Example, if there is a messy table,  make a note to get a rack.

4.For motivation, bring out your favourite snack for breaks. Turn on whatever you like to hear such as Maher Zain,  Siti,  In-team or recitation by Mashari to keep you going and make the job go faster.

Little Ladies Part 11

I just came back from delivering cream puffs and pizzas.  Hmm...notice something? Last week, delivery work, this morning, delivery work...Ahah! Thats where my talent lies, in delivery!  After so long of soul searching....

Alhamdulilah, Allah has given Hajar a talent in the kitchen.  It started out she had nothing to do last Ramadhan and I asked her to make something from what she learnt at the cooking classes to give people for buka puasa. So cream puffs was her first attempt and it came out  fluffy, puffy and lemak berkrim that everyone who got them really likes them so much that they started ordering, especially during the month of hariraya.  Eversince, its every weekend of cream puff baking for her.

I told her it is not easy to sell our goods.  Not everything that we cook is marketable.  Most of us wish we can sell something but to get people asking for more takes a special touch.  And Alhamdulilah, having that,  she is able to do a small business from home.

Customer asked what else do we make (we is she) so we started making pizza.  Hajar makes the dough, I assemble it.  (ssshhh...hajar is good at making anything fluffy, because she is kind of fluffy herself hehehe) And will try out more. Next one is kek lapis strawberry.

When Kak Asmah gave her an oven for the birthday on the 9th that day, (an oven!!!) it was an encouragement to push herself.

I am her biggest supporter and believer, Mimi and Aishah her most ready testers, Fauzan and family her best customers, with Bahiah and Adi repeating orders.

Rezeki comes from Allah and if He wants to give, He gives in ways you do not expect, to whom He choses. 

Aishah is happy her dream of having a small foodie outlet (like Dellize) is showing signs of coming true.

Who knows, with doa and hardwork and making sure of its highest quality, it can be a source of income one day.

Move on, chop chop,

Ok, its gone....the sister thing.

Be grateful for what we have. Count your blessings.  3 daughters, 2 cats, a palmful of friends. auntie-turned-model,(suddenly) grandchildren to watch grow (ziyad, omar, mia, ja'a, danish, redho, Kaklong's 6 days old unnamed baby girl ).Hajar's small business. Tabung Al-Bir. Qoroh the cow.

Quote of the day

"A penny saved is a penny earned." 

Save but sedeqah always.  Jangan boros tapi jangan kedekut. Acquire the art .

Tips on savings

1. Buy  frozen foods and stock in freezer.

2. Make or bake foodies that can be frozen like cakes, muffins, pizzas, pies and keep  as long as its shelf life.

3. Spend one day cooking a few dishes for a few days ahead and freeze.  Thaw and reheat for lunch or dinner. Cook dishes that can keep long like rendang, ayam masak merah and fried chicken. 

4. Pack well. Cakes need to be wrapped twice, first with plastic, then with foil.

Ready food + less time cooking = more time to do important things

sister again

47 and I am wishing for a sister.  It sounds sooooo childish, like a wish of a twelve year old. Old adults like me should have outgrown those type of wishes. hahaha

But please, forgive me, for I have a reason or two for what I wrote.  You see, I do not have a husband, or a mum, I have not set foot on my dads house for close to 18 years, forbidden by my stepmum and  I have given up waiting for King Charming to come along.

I have 3 daughters whom I love with all my heart, but we need to talk to adults too.

I have 2 brothers that are very busy all year round and a younger sister who does not seemed to travel in the same orbit.

Would it be nice to go somewhere where I can open her refrigerator, or ask her to cook for me something I like, or just drop by at my whim and just stay as long as I want, to leave my children to. Someone you just can be your most stupid self and still be loved and excused.  Someone with whom you do not have to pretend because she knows you in and out. Who knows what you like and buys it for you. I can go on and you will but notice how real and alone I have felt.

Wait a minute!!!I think I have a sister somewhere........!!!!

Tips on saving

1. Buy cheaper detergent, use half of recommended usage and add a squirt of dish washing liquid to clothes (have not tried this)

2. Make clothes last longer

3. Do not wear so many clothes in one day

4. Less clothes+ less detergent+less water =  money/time saved

Sister

I wish I have an elder sister.  A few elder sisters.  Kak Limah has 9 sisters, both younger and elder and they always have a jolly good time together. They go shopping together, eat out, travel, with that number, you don't need other people.

I read in the net, people who have sisters are happier than they think, because they have someone to share their lives, ups and downs.  A place to go. 

So I guess, it is justified, this sudden wish in me, to have one.

I guess I have to be content with having sister-like people, like Kak Hanim, Kak Anne, Kak Pah, Kak La, Kak Ilah, Kak Limah, Kak Fauzy, Kak Ani, Kak Timah, and the latest, Kak Asmah.....but I see these people very rarely.

Yap, second top on my wish list, an elder sister.

Giogio the pissing cat

Giogio is pissing everywhere again.  His latest gimmick is pissing on plastic bags.  That day he pissed on a plastic bag of dukus Mimi bought from the pasar malam. Luckily he missed the dukus.   Day before yesterday he wanted to on the bag of rice but I managed to stop him, nearly stumbling down, hurting my toe. This morning, on my blanket.

Sometimes I feel like sending him away, but deep down I love him despite his pissing.  His saucer eyes, his goofy look which is only a cover because he is smart, actually, and he does'nt  mind people coming up to him and the funny sound he makes, ank! ank!ank! All is forgotten, until he does it again!!

Motto of the day

Menggapai awan, mencapai bintang!!

Woman of substance

Mercy sent me an email thanking me for being a volunteer.  It made me so happy eventhough I only went for one day only.  The thought of me being a part of a team that helps people in trouble and in need had always been a dream.  The spark to help out is still there.  But in reality, my life and I might be more a hindrance then help.  I am not upwardly mobile like them, I am an introvertly stick-in-the-mud.  hehe. 

This week  I was down, in a far from jubilant mood.  Maybe it is the passing on of Makcik Alia, my sister-in-laws mother who had been a part of our family eversince Kak Hanim married my brother.  She was a teacher and a single parent bringing up 5 children. I saw her more when she came to live with Kak Hanim for the past  8 years.

When she was hospitalised due to a fall on the eve of hariraya, we thought that she would be strong enough to pull through. Maybe because she recovered from her stroke, she would recover from her fall. Although she is 74 of age, Makcik Alia, whom to me had gritting determination and a positive attitude, she never looked old.

However it was time. Innalillawainnailaihiroji'un. One grand lady, who was salt of the earth, had left us. 

That leaves me thinking. Who would take the place of these wonderful people.  Nowadays, in this generation, we hear terms like hot mamas and hot grandmas, who work hard to keep looking youthful and beautiful. To look great and ala mode.

No such thing with the older generation, they were not at all hot, but they were full of wisdom and substance.  They were epitome of the righteous.  They lived by the law of doing everything right. (No doubt they have flaws..) The right way to act, the right way to keep house, the right way of bringing up children, teaching them religion and the ways of life. Their mission in life is to put straight their families.  Their advice came in the form of alot of nagging, which would only be missed when they are no longer around.  By then, most of their job is done. They had made good people out of their lot.

They are also examples of endurance because they had standards to keep. High ones.  They do not easily settle for less than what they expect out of us.  More for our sake then theirs.

Makcik Alia had given me some advice which she got out from a few books. She photostated many copies to give her family.  It is still in my file. 

May Allah bless her and put her among the elevated souls. Al-fatihah.

The question is, can we do like they do?  Can we produce results like them? Can we teach the next generation good qualities so that they would impart the same on the next?  A tall order to fill their shoes.  Nevertheless, their shoes need to be filled.

diversion

Emmmm....lets put Mercy aside ....until I recover from the humbling experience that I am waaaaay behind.....meanwhile I will hum a song...(from Mimi's CD, a compilation of famous nasyids.)

OK!  I am over it! (Time is precious, chop, chop)

I have been reading alot of western quotes lately which are really inspiring and enlightening, lifting my soul, learning much from it.

However, the quotes we live by are those that contains therein the teachings of Islam.

Two of my favourite Muslim writers are contemporaries, the late Dr Hamka and Dr Aidh Al-Qarni. 

Here I share with you some of their qoutes:

Orang yang redha dan sukacita apabila melihat alam sekelilingnya, timbul lah kesenangan dan kegembiraan. Kesenangan dan kegembiraan hati itu adalah pangkal jalan menuju bahagia.Redha menghilangkan cela dan aib. Lantaran redha yang telah lekat di hati, kalau ada cela, akan lupa dalam fikiran. Kalau ada cacat, cacatnya tidak disedari. Hal ini bukan di sebabkan bodoh atau gila, tetapi sudah dasar redha memang demikian adanya. Redha tabiatnya pemaaf dan benci tabiatnya tidak adil. -( Dr Hamka)

Kata-kata yang lemah dan beradab dapat melembutkan hati dan manusia yang keras. (Dr Hamka).

Bertambah kuat kepercayaan kepada agama, bertambah tinggi darjatnya di dalam pergaulan hidup, dan bertambah baik tingkah laku dan akal budinya. (Dr Hamka).

Pergaulan mempengaruhi didikan otak.Oleh itu, untuk kebersihan jiwa hendaklah bergaul dengan orang-orang beradab dan berbudi mulia yang dapat kita kutip manfaatnya. (Dr Hamka).

Orang beradab pasti pandai menghormati keyakinan orang lain, walaupun dia sendiri tidak sesuai dengan keyakinan itu. (Dr Hamka).

Perbendaharaan qanaah tidak pernah kekeringan dan tidak memerlukan penjaga sepanjang masa (Dr Aidh Al Qarni)

Ketenangan hati ketika ditimpa musibah banyak bergantung sejauh mana iman dan keyakinan kepada qada dan qadar ( Dr Aidh)

Jalanilah hidupmu dengan gembira, kerana sememangnya hidup itu indah. Sekurang-kurangnya anda boleh menjadikan hidup ini indah dengan kebaikan anda (Dr Aidh)

Lakukanlah apa yang sepatutnya anda selesaikan hari ini, kerana hari esok belum tentu berpihak kepada anda (Dr Aidh)

Kelembutan Allah akan berterusan dalam tempoh yang lama, bak kesayuan pandangan mata (Dr Aidh)

Anda lebih bahagia memberi sepotong roti berbanding orang yang menutup pintu kepada para pengemis (Dr Aidh)

A good try

Sigh...how would I describe my first stint as a volunteer at Mercy.  I dreamt of posting something all of us could be proud of, but instead, I have to be honest and say it was...a flop.

It has been many years since I was in an organisation. And Mercy, located in the heart of the city is international and made out of upwardly mobile staff who are outgoing and competent taking on the world and its calamities.

I was given a job to get 39 letters addressed from the excel spreadsheet.  Rusty I was using windows but I succeeded in finishing all 39 letters, a little slow because I first copied and edit excel to word because some data were surplus, then from word, copy paste on the appeal for donation letters. Old lady you see, one step at a time. Nevertheless, s.l.o.w. Huhu.

Compared to them, I was a shrinking violet.  The longer I was there the more I shrank. When I got to my last letter, all I knew is that I lacked what it takes.  Where have I been, I don't know. But definitely far from where these people have been.

I don't know whether I have the guts to go again. :-(

47

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday to meeeeeeeeee, happy birthday to me.....huff huff, puff puff 47 candles.

Thank you loved ones, for the wishes and the presents and cakes.

I got myself a present too. A good pair of glasses since 2 already lost shape.

And  then went to Mercy Malaysia and volunteered. I did it! I went for it!  On my birthday.

MIMI WON! MIMI WON!

Mimi won consolation prize for her entry in the photography competition held by MBSA! In my previous post in May,  I uploaded the pictures she submitted.

All her efforts to get a good shot had been fruitful.  I am for healthy hobbies whatever they are.  May Mimi be a good photographer she aims to be.  Go Mimi!

Cards

Reading again Khalil Gibran literature got me rumaging in my brain whose else poem I had read in the past.  (Think, Think) There is a name...still vague...a name made out of a quality...(think, think somemore)....then I got it! Patience Strong.

Patient Strong's poems filled my school days when  cards were given for birthdays and poems were written in autographs.  Beautiful cards in envelopes, with a poem, often by Patience Strong were given as a gesture that you are remembered on your birthday. Nowadays wishes are greeted via sms.  After a few days, or few hours, it is deleted. But a card  is a tangible wish with beautiful words and illustrations that can be kept for a long time.

I surfed the net to find her poems but got only a few.  Her poems are really sweet and meaningful that touched our hearts and became mementoes we gave one another.  Here is one I share with you.

The saddest word in all the language is the word Goodbye.

Pause before you speak the word that maybe you'll regret.

Though perhaps you weren't to blame - forgive it and forget.

Wait before you cause a storm that wrecks your peace of mine.

Life is brief and love is precious - and its hard to find -

so never risk destroying it by something done or said.

Think before you spoil your chance of happiness ahead.

The great poet

What kind of books do you read? A friend told me recently that he is not interested in reading.  Many people do not read much but that do not make them any less interesting. And I read alot, hiding behind books and I am one of the most boring people in this world.

But when you read alot, there would come a time when you have to spill it out  by writing your own thoughts.  Or all the imput would make you want to puke. hehe. Have you felt that way?  For those who has a small or secret wish to write, please follow these instructions.  1. Get a paper  2. Get a pen  3. Write down what you feel like writing.  4. Send to me    5. I would read it happily.

Before I read just about any interesting book.  Now, as age is catching up, I would read what would make me a better person after reading it. Learning Islamic studies for a few years, it becomes very apparent  the different kind of school of thoughts between the western and the muslims.  With the western's free thinking and 'follow your heart' underlying message,(not all) I would come to a close, since we muslim cannot follow our hearts and our thinking must never be free. 

I am no longer able anymore to absorb everything but to do so selectively. But it does take away the simple joy of absorbing. :)

So now, I am into Khalil Gibran's work of art.  Isn't he something???  He comes from a thinking plain way higher than us, being able to see the beauty of life and in God's creation.  Many artists are tormented souls and their sufferings has given them the leap to see more than we see.  We look at the sky and see blue, they look at the sky and see angels with string instruments and ice-cream castles..(I see cotton candy)

Here are some of his quotes whose beauty I would like to share with you.

" Your pain is breaking of shell that encloses your understanding"

"The eye of a human being is a microscope, which makes the world seem bigger than it really is"

"The teacher who is indeed wise does not bid you to enter his house of wisdom but rather lead you to the threshold of your mind"

"There are those that give with joy and that joy is their reward"

"Life without love is like a tree without blossom or fruit"

"Poetry is a deal of joy, pain and wonder and a dash of the dictionary"

"Generosity is giving more than you can, and pride is taking less than you need"

"If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were"

"If your heart is a volcano, how shall you expect flowers to bloom"

Best nyeeee.........

When things were simpler.

The landmark of Shah Alam is its lovely lakes. It has 2 big lakes, one by the Masjid Negeri and one in section 7.  There is where the people of Shah Alam exercise and you find many of them doing so in the mornings and evenings, and I can say, it is the norm for the community here. Men, women, children and families of all ages and background would make their way to the lakes and have a work out.

It is a part of  my regime now to exercise 30 minits a day, as per Dr Alfi's requirements. No wonder last time I was healthier,  when I would make time to jog, very little sugar intake and eat simple food.  Back then, with Mimi in Matrikulasi and Hajar in Cairo, I was skimping in spending. Cakes, pizzas, eating out were a luxury. 

Now Mimi got her scholarship and Aishah working, Alhamdulilah we can indulge in the yummy food, going to Dellize with Aishah, ordering dominos when we are not cooking, not going to the lake anymore had resulted an unhealthy Mama. It seems this lifestyle is not suitable for me. 

I think I have to revert back to the old ways. At least the eating part.

Short advice

Short advice for today,

RANSANGKAN YANG POSITIF, JANGAN RANSANGKAN YANG NEGATIF

When was the last time you did a blood test?

It has been sometime I had a blood test, about 5 years ago.  I had one done last week and the results had been 'expectedly' bad.  Cholestrol higher than range, uric acid on the high side and many other indicators towards the high side.  Hmmm....

Its a good thing I went or I would just keep on going and ignoring all the signals my body is giving me. 

So our doctor has put me on a diet regime as I am obese now. Obese!!!!!

He gave me a list of what I could not eat, and as curiousity kills the cat, I did more research on the net, to find the list gets longer and longer. I was eating oats happily knowing I was keeping my cholestrol at bay when I saw oats on the no-no list for uric acid.

Since I got the results, I find myself staring at food, stopping short from eating,  to compute, was this on both list?

Now I have to do some food exploring to know what is there else to eat since 70% has been striked out by the good doctor.

A box of chocolate

Forrest Gump said something to this effect, that life is like a box of chocolate, you don't know what you are going to get.  That was how my hari raya this year, a box of chocolate...

That is why it is always important to 'betulkan niat' when we are about to start anything. Mulakan setiap perbuatan dengan Bismillah.  Because, when things change courses or things happen unexpectedly, you do not jump up and down.

It was indeed an privilege to be able to celebrate hari raya with relatives in Kota Bharu after some years of moving to KL.  Auntie Kak's family has grown with the increase of grandchilren. Kak La's lovely family, Kak Pah's lovely house and Cek's good food.  To 'beraya' with my wonderful Mokcik Moh and Pokcik Wei, with Mama Robiyah and family.

Then to have the Little Ladies' Papa and Pak Uda coming to the house was always a highlight of my hariraya, because it is the  time of the year when they gather as a family, when his first family and second family meet and unite. When it shows blood ties bring people together.

I guess I believe in hariraya.  That's why what we lack to make hariraya perfect makes me sad. 

Day before yesterday, I beraya with my grandmother at the hospital, meeting relatives from another branch of family tree.  That night to my brother's open house where I meet the lovely, ever so proper family of Kak Ann's.

Eventhough I am always apprehensive how hariraya would be every year, but  like I wrote, we always manage to enjoy ourselves for as long as we  have the 4 F, that is faith, family, friends and food.

Back together

Hariraya 2010 in Shah Alam and Kota Bharu

Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri

Mimi and Aishah's Fruit tarts for raya

hari raya in progress

I have learnt a lesson today, about most things are easier said then done. 

We bought cheap stuff and after assembling it, praakkk!!!! It breaks.  Parts not fitting, can only be changed in a week or more,  there goes my raya.....

Saw Ziana Zain at the bank.  I went to this out of the way bank, since in the way banks have ran out of notes for hariraya, to find Ziana who is really beautiful in real life making everyone there wake up, sit up and go gaga over her transactions. Other then that, no notes.

Aishah found her blue green baju raya. 

The house is far from ready.

I fasted till 4 pm.

Shushu and Giogio cannot be with us for raya, since the pet's hostel last entry is at 1.00 pm tomorrow. There goes Mimi's joy and happiness.

The neighbours playing the hari raya songs at high volume for the whole block to hear.

Little Ladies Part 10

We started earlier to clean and spruce up the house, but only now picking up in pace.  Being a true last minute person, starting early  is just an act, really, nothing much done.

Hajar is a fastidious person, she cleans well into every crook and corners, such as scrubbing the tiles on hind legs.  She goes for the rust, grit and grime, I go for the outer surfaces and storaging.  We will leave the windows and curtains to Aishah when she arrives tonight.  Mimi, hmmm...she can decorate when our new little glass cupboard comes and wash our baju raya and tudung raya and the telekong raya given by Kak Hanim and the artificial flowers.

We are giving away what we no longer use, like clothes,  to our relatives (sedeqah should be to relatives first)  in Kota Bharu.  Recycle what can be recycled eventhough we get pittance for the price we paid for them.

Lets clear the clutter and the cobwebs.  Lets have a spick and span hari raya.  But don't spend too much time cleaning.  Ramadhan and the night of Syawal is still a time for ibadat. That is more important.

This Ramadhan

I have not been able to write much about Ramadhan, and not in position to tazkirah since my ibadat is so poor .  There is too much going on in my head and in my heart.

Dashed hopes, sprouting new hopes, news of sickness and deaths, making big decisions, terminations,  new deals like purchasing qoroh :),  peri menapausal symtoms of prolonged menstruation, able to fast so far for only 9 days, tampering in biscuit selling,  and the usual never ending running around, the morals are low this month.

I was writing on forgiveness.  I know one thing about forgiveness, it takes away alot of burden from the heart.  If we forgive someone who had done us wrong or is forgiven by someone whom we have done wrong, our heart feels free and light, the memory of what took place is deleted and it increases the space in our heart, just like the computer.  

Sometimes, we can forgive, but finds difficulty forgetting.  It means we forgive only a little, maybe 10%. We should try to forgive more in percentage.

My ibadat is so poor this month.  I have to thank Shushu and Giogio for waking me up on the 10 last nights, eventhough I cannot fast, to look out at the sky at the balcony to see whether its LailatulQodar. Only Allah knows.   Then I doa and seek forgiveness from Allah. The way I am going, I have to do extra ibadat into the month of Syawal to make up for the low pahala of my Ramadhan.

If we do not know Allah, how would we ever cope with life's 'onak dan duri.'  For Allah to take care of us, we have to take care of Allah.

Ramadhan is the most auspicious month for it is a month we fullfill one of the Rukun Islam, most probably the hardest. Being hungry and abstaining from our desires. Desires that would ride us, if we do not hold their reigns. And fasting is the best way to reproach our desires so it does not go out of control, or out of the permissable.

So when hari raya comes, the desires had been ploughed and managed, done enough terawih, paid our zakats,  heart is willing to forgive and forget,we are all ready to move on on better footing as a  slave of Allah, a muslim, a person.

Blue green for raya

This year, Mimi is dressing us in blue green.  It started some years ago with green, then crimson, then orange brown, this year blue green. (something like this highlight)

On hari raya , we address families by their colour. Purple family or pink family or peach family. No names required.

My sister-in-laws are superb at putting colours together. There was once when Kak Hanim was going same colour, different shades, light, darker, darkest.  And Kak Ann, as usual, picking the most pleasant tones for her family, looking like out of a magazine.

As for us, partly same colour or a tinge is enough, if not the whole background. As long as there is blue green somewhere.

But same colour  does look good for photo taking don't you think? All  coded, coordinated and unified.A set of a family. 

Must remember blue green ribbon for shushu.

Little Ladies Part 9

Hari raya is drawing near.  Hmmm...hari raya...our most awaited festive day after our most special month which had not been so festive for the last 20 years or so.  But ok laah...we survived it, manage to have some fun, and join in the merry-making, though in my heart not fully....

I always had difficulties paying zakat fitrah because by right, payment should be by our guardian. But since we are not so close, my guardians and I, so I paid for myself and the girls. Without fail, every year, it would tug on alot of heartstrings since like I said, by right it should be paid by a guardian. Its not the money. Its the thought that I don't even know if there is a guardian for us or not. No husband, faraway father (for both me and the girls), lost brothers ...(tears welling now) and I can't even ask, because I am afraid, they had not notice at all. Oh well, its only 7rm per person and ones I get it done, ignore the painful song in my heart, its forgotten till the next year. This year, Alhamdulillah,  Aishah has taken it upon herself to pay for everyone since she has grown-up and had made a living of her own. Until she gets married, I shall pass the batton to her.

We would always cook our trademark hariraya dishes of ketupat, sambal goreng, kuzi ayam, sambal kacang and sayur lodeh, each of everyone's favourite.  We used to buy the ketupat's moulds, but now the Little Ladies can weave, so its  homemade and nicely shaped.

Hajar would make the patience required kuzi ayam or lamb, frying the onions carefully so that it is not over fried, and pounding it patiently.

Mimi would be in charge of making dessert and so far her recipe is the simplest of all that takes 2 minutes to prepare. Just add one can of evaporated milk to one can of fruit cocktail and Viola! Dessert!  I hope she has progressed this year and come up with something more fancy.

Another difficult moment would be going for hari raya prayers as I would see, intact families in their beautiful clothes, usually of same colour tone for each family, going together to the mosque, the distinguished fathers and elegent mothers, handsome and beautiful children in tow,  and it would just be the 4 of us for 20 years now braving the crowds, sans a male 'guardian'.

I won't even begin to describe the intact families' hariraya celebration to compare with ours.

But Alhamdulillah,  so far we have made it, and our low key hariraya is still hariraya and we always end up enjoying it,  As long as we have each other, it will always get better.

Puteri Saadong

Here is the story of Puteri Saadong, told by Professor Normala (my aunt, Kak La) to us on the day I dropped off her order of biscuits.  My emphasis on the prof bit, to add authenticity to the story. She couldn't be making this up, ok....prof and all.  As for me, who is only half Kelantanese, all these while I thought Puteri Saadong is a mythology like Puteri Santubong and Puteri Sejinjang who had long changed into mountains in Kuching, Sarawak .  To my surprise, she is real, like you and me.

When did the beloved by  all Kelantanese ruler ruled?  Way before Arwoh Mok? ( my Kelantanese great grandma I wrote about) Wow...thats long, ancient!  Arwoh Mok told me during her younger days, she went around berkemban.  That is in sarong fastened above bosom, without top.  I imagine the constituents of Puteri Saadong, going around berkemban under her souverign.

Prof  Normala, spoke with upmost certainty of the princess and her history. (that figures)  Kelantan must be the only state that had such a great and powerful woman ruler so...(that figures too)....that is why Kelantanese women are quite prominent in their state and are usually strong...(that figures)....they were empowered from the very beginning...by Puteri Saadong and later on by Cik Siti Wan Kembang, another great women in Kelantan history.  That is why, rarely Kelantanese women are taken for fools. Hmm...now I know...hmmm.....

The story goes like this;

Puteri Saadong was once a reknown ruler in Kelantan who was loved and revered by all and beyond.  Her royal husband was a Tengku Abdullah. They lived in power and happiness.

Alas, their happiness was shortlived.The Siam Emperor wanted Puteri Saadong and to do that, he and his army came to attack Kelantan.  To save her beloved country, she sacrificed her own needs and was willing to be pawned for the safety of her people. So she left Tengku Abdullah and Kelantan and submitted to be married to the Siam Emperor, with one condition, she is not to be touched.  Being a multitalented person, she can cast spells....and casted a spell on the Emperor to have skin disease that cannot be cured even by the best of healers. No skin specialist then.

Time past and the Emperor could not endure the ailment much longer and if Puteri Saadong could cure him, he would grant her anything. She wished for her return to her country and the Emperor, as soon as he was healed, let her go.

Puteri Saadong came back to Kelantan only to find Tengku Abdullah betrothed to another women on the throne.   Her unfaltering love for him did not seemed reciprocated in the same way.  ( a man is a man no matter where and when) She declared war ( being at the top does this to you)  and with her army, attacked Tengku Abdullah and his people. With her hair pin, she stabbed Tengku Abdullah (so sad, huhu) to his death.  Love at its most complicated.

After that she turned into a recluse and stayed in the mountains of Bukit Marak and after sometime,  turned into a 'orang halus' .  She became invisible but provided the people with crokery, (plates, bowls, glasses etc). I heard many times from  old folks that crokery those days were borrowed from 'another world'. I suppose human don't own much household items then. They borrowed for kenduri and return them after use. Unfortunately some people did not return them and this saddened Puteri Saadong. (poor queen)

For a long time, there were people who could still  hear the sounds of crokery at Bukit Marak, maybe even to this day.  It is there Puteri Saadong  last lived and became a legend in Kelantan, part mortal and part spirit, a bridge between the two worlds.

Allahu a'lam. So it goes  according to Kak La.

tarts, malatops, suji, almond strips, etc

After a last minute cancellation by 'my company' to JB to collect my biscuits, I decided to drive down alone,  for it would be quicker that way. So at 6am yesterday, I jumped into the viva, and hit the road.  All along the way I would sing my lungs outs, it's one way of venting out negative energies, you see.  When no one is around, it does not matter if I was out of tune or singing the wrong lyrics or  making up new ones. Or screaming or screaching.(and...there was alot of reasons to get that way for)  By the time I reached JB, I was healthier.

Adi and I collected the biscuits in Kulaijaya, went to Maklong's house, gave her some for blessing, then to Gee's house, delivered her order, then back again to Adi's house to rest and talk to the old folks. Allah had given me a good share of old ladies in my life for Adi's mum and I chatted happily.

At 4.00 I hit the road home . Drive, sing, drive, sing until the sun went down and my energy to sing went down too . Time to do some zikir, listen to the Islamic channel, hear some sound advices, listen to Quran and be more sober,  emm...how I should have been from the very beginning. (tau, takpe)

At 9.00pm I reached Abang's house to deliver his biscuits.  Spent the night there because I was exhausted.

At 9.00am today, sent biscuits to Aziz's house, Kak Ros's house and Bahiah's house.  Less and less biscuits in the car.

I hope everyone like these biscuits. Adi and Kak Timah are selling them too.  It started from me bugging Adi for tarts.  So she bought one bottle for me and posted to Shah Alam. It arrived in crumbs beyond recognition. The post office people must have made a football out of my parcel.  Then Adi bought replacement.  And more and more until the three of us decided to sell tarts and other biscuits this hari raya.

This tag line came up, 'Jangan menyusahkan orang, jual kueh tart' when we were sharing the throes being single parents and would like to prove we are far from being burdensome to people around us.

That is how we ended up selling biscuits this year.

Pakistan flood

Mimi told me her lecturer said,  helping someone is like giving way to a vehicle on the road.  Another time you need to cut in, another vehicle will  give way, but not the vehicle you gave way to, for it would be far on it's way (excuse the many 'ways' here for coherence)  That's why when we  help someone, he might not be the one returning our help but help would come from another person.

It is said that as long as we help another person, Allah swt will always help us.

What is happening to our mother earth?  My heart had just recovered from watching the Haiti earthquake aftermaths, now I watch Pakistan hit by the horrendous floods.  Yesterday's news showed the seas and rivers joined up and flowed into the lands, submerging everything in its way.  How the waters raised and where did all this water come from?  Millions of people's lives and livelihood destroyed.  Millions and counting.

How long would it take to put their lives back together again? How much money would they need? How would they be living through all this? We see them fighting and hitting each other for food.  Scraping fallen grains on the ground.  The victims getting sick and ill. My heart bleeds again. It is like a smaller version of the floods during Prophet Noh as, don't you think? 

In this holy month of Ramadhan lets do our bit and donate to them what we can spare.  For every donation or sedeqah for the cause of Allah, Allah will double in folds.

Firman Allah :

Perumpamaan orang-orang yang menafkahkan hartanya di jalan Allah adalah serupa  dengan sebutir benih yang menumbuhkan tujuh butir, pada tiap-tiap butir, seratus biji. Allah melipat gandakan (ganjaran) bagi siapa yang Dia kehendaki. Dan Allah Maha Luas (kurnianya) lagi Maha Mengetahui.  (Surah Albaqarah ayat 261)

Allah also grants the doas of those who fast. Let us doa for them for survival, strength, and sustainance. Amin ya Rob.

QOROH

Today I would like to share with you that I am a proud owner of a cow.  Yap, a cow. Moo... moo...

A COW!!!!! Ain't it wonderful???Alhamdulillah.... I wanted a pony for ecotherapy but got a cow instead. Awesome.  Quite the same, four legs, tail, hooves, eat grass, (but 'smellier') and of course, more realistic, where would I get a pony.

It's name is Qoroh.  Short for Baqoroh, which means cow in arabic. 

Of course there is a story behind this but lets just say, it is a gesture to help  a loved one.

A COW!!!

Second act - part 3

Who would want to clean cupboards instead of doing really fun things like.... emm...I don't know... haven't been doing fun things. But...doing work around the house does bring some fulfillment.  Fun and fulfillment, arent they the same?

More ideas on how to save.

1. Do not buy mineral  or drinking water. Put boiled drinking water from home in a good container and bring along with us.

2. Pack food.  Sandwiches, fried rice, potato chips. Cook rice, fry an omellete, drizzle soy sause and there you go, you have your lunch.

3.Buy less imported goods or food.  Go local, cheaper

4. Budget  to spend only RM15 per day on food (more than enough, it used to be RM10, you can do wonders with RM15).  Should we overspend today, cut tomorrow's ration.  Adjust our spending to that amount. If we buy 1 chicken, go for cheap vegetables like cabbage, spinach, green mustard.  

5. Things we can sew ourselves. Curtains, skirts, table cloth, table mats, pillow cases, bedsheets. Find clothes we don't wear because the buttons or zips came off  or torn stitches or need alterations and mend them. Its easier than you think. Do it while chatting with a friend.

6. Spruce up what we have.  Beauty is when things are clean, not neccessarily new.

With all these great plans which are easier written than done, we should help those in hardship and dire needs  like the flood victims in Pakistan. If you have successfully saved some money from doing all this, maybe you can send some to them? Here is the account no. Maybank 514271339000.

Second act - part 2

When you read on the net about people  moving out from your big houses to live in small houses, or see  corporate people  started planting vegetables and rearing chickens, it sort of leaves  you worried.  Is this real? Then on Oprah I saw people being laid off work that immediately changed their place in society,  from high-class to middle class, from middle to poor, from celebrity to layman.  Would that happen to us too?  Then comes the floods in Pakistan and China, the earthquakes  (this is getting depressing).

So rule no 1 -  live within your means.

2. Buy smaller fish to eat. Cut what we eat and cook in size and portions. Not too small. We still need nutrients. Air Asia menu size portion looks small but sufficient, no?

3. Go and buy at the cheapest place, like here in Shah Alam, Tesco offers good prices.

4. Eat in (Sorry  Dellizze regulars)

5. Save electricity, water and fuel (ok, no more fan for cats)

6. Less entertainment.  Turn out and clean your cupboards instead. Kitchen cupboards too.  Do gardening. Share my love for edible gardens. (not that I have one) Learn new recipes. Cheap but good fun like go walking with a friend. Take up a new inexpensive hobby.  Have pets. Keep fishes. Sit with the family. Join the library. Learn a new language. Sew own clothes.

7.  Deposit slowly but surely.  Fill up piggy banks with the loose change.  Invest for those who know where to invest.   For those who doesn't know, do it the old fashion way, keep it anywhere really safe in the house. 

8. Always pay our zakat and give sedeqah for these two will clean and increase our rezeki.