How can things be so bad and go so wrong? Hajar said to me "La Tahzan, ma". Sigh...Yes, I suppose, La Tahzan (Do not feel sad).
Reading the posts on Little Ladies Mimi said, "Ma, I still remember for one concert, I was supposed to be butterfly but we went somewhere and I ended up being a flower", and acted the part swaying like a flower blowing in the wind. Except that now, at 21, she looks more like a palm tree blowing in the wind. I am sorry Mimi, you lost your part as a butterfly but Mummy nearly lost her mind.
I thank Allah Subhanahuwataala for helping me every single moment. I dedicate the song 'Thank you Allah by Maher zain' to Allah. (boleh ke? sounds strange)
One makcik asked me to doa in tahajud while looking out of the window. I have looked at thousands of night skies that I can recognise some stars.
In the book Wasiat Abdul Kadir Jailani wrote 'berjalanlah mengikut takdir kamu, supaya kamu tidak akan musnah' meaning that we should accept what happens to us with a willing heart for if we fight against our takdir, it would finish us.
Someone said. lie low and pray alot until it all rides out.
I read a book that said sleep can help take off the edge of the pain. Sleep can help restore the damage. So if you see me sleeping at the wrong time, please blame the book.
I also read to let the pain pass through until it is gone. Do not stop or control it. Let the pain sing its song in our hearts. Cry. Wallow. Then it will slowly go away and will not get to our heads. (This works)
Sabar and syukur. Not the words but the action.
Always learn where you went wrong.
Go counselling like I did. I thank the doctors for their patience. 'The man with a book' is one of them.
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