Cats, birds and squirrels

Yup, I have home issues.  Moving alot from young till now is an indication of home  issues.  But you know, actually, it is also an indication of being not happy.  All my mum and I wanted was to come home.  Home to her was Kota Bharu and to me, Kuala Lumpur.  We went about one whole circle and back.  I thought it was me.  Well, it is me.  But not all me.  This actually happens, to many people. Finding home.  What was so illusive and felt like looking for a needle in a hay stack all this wide while had an easy answer.  Balik kampung.

I am now only one exit away from where I came from.

Before I live here, I passed here. That moment, my heart gave a leap.  But  I could not possibly stay here.  It is not in the plan.  The thought out plan. Well thought or not.

But I just had to come again, to see. And queitly I came. A few times.  One day, an extraordinary course of events happened.  My father, for the first time, understood my tiniest microscopic need.  With that one permission, he had untied me from my gruelling pattern and set me free.  After that,  I forgave him anything.  48 years of not really 'seeing' me  or 'caring'  is forgiven. He did one thing  crucial  after so long,  at the very end.  He let me come home to a place my late mother once hated. And only he could do that.

So here we are in this place where all of us are happy with.  We now have a lift. No more lunging heavy stuff 4 flights of stairs. Peace and quiet to study and sleep.  We have trees with birds and squirrels just across the balcony. Most of all, I can be myself.  For someone not so good with people, I do not have to be talk to everyone and not be miss-understood.  And my landlord is a decent man, not one out to take advantage of a single mothers at the end her wits with massive emotional baggages.. Syukur Alhamdulilah.

I am going into my 50s now.  Only to find the missing mosaics.  So important the pieces, because without them, all this would not make much sense.

Ok, I am off from Mimi's pretty room, to see the cats basking in the morning sun on the balcony, while I wait for the management office to open to get Mr Muthu to see the block in the sink.