not enough jogging

Aaaahhhh!    Hmmm....the needle on the scales stays the same.

Maybe I should work out 24/7.  Morning, afternoon, evening.  Jog my life away.  This 47 years or 49 muslim years fat is not letting go of me.

I do not believe in not eating.  If we do  not eat, we die.  But we must eat less and choose what we eat.  Starve, no, no.

Yesterday I woke up with hunger pangs and growling stomach since I no longer have rice for dinner. Quickly  I scooped up a handful of cornflakes and munched on them.  A few minutes later, the hunger pangs disappeared. It works fast.

Raisins too does the trick.. A few can keep your tummy from growling.

I am snacking on dried fruits like dates and figs instead of chocolates.  I like to bite on the fig's crunchy tiny seeds.

Going to buy more dried shrunken shriveled fruits to shrink myself with.

This evening I have alot to do, but......lets see if I can find a lake in Bangi. Yup, there is one nice one there.  Ok, going with my jogging gears on.  Its acceptable to go to familys' house wearing whatever you have to. Eventhough they would still wonder what I am up to.

Not so successful jogging days

Last few days was a flop for jogging.

Day before was the worst.

Since the day before the day before it was raining and no jogging.  The day after that, my father called to see him at my brother's house in Kelana Jaya. Eager to get into action, again very early got into my jogging gears,  determine to speak to my dad only for a few minutes, then to excuse myself and jog these fats away.

Not so easy  because when dad starts talking  I always  feign interest in order not to offend the old man.  In fact I did not budge till we said goodbye and parted ways.  Still sticking or at least trying to, to plans, we drove a short distance  to enter the lake grounds only to find there is no more lake.  It has turned into a construction site.

Then Mimi dragged me to accompany her to do her business  that we had entered a place where people were appropriately and elegantly dress and here I was in my long muslimah tee-shirt and track bottom, looking like an over-aged teenager.

Still not dettered, all I could think of was the evening.  Evening came, we went to take Shu-shu and Gio-gio from the vet when I found my purse mysteriously missing.  Then it rained.

No jog, no purse.

The next morning,  feeling as blue as the rain outside,  a good Samaritan  called to return my purse which he found in a garbage bin.  All there except the  200rm.Innalillawainnailaihiroji'un.

Only today,  after an irresistible  plate of Arab rice with lamb and chicken  at Hikmah's wedding, (too delicious not to eat, its a wedding, not everyday we find etc)  I manage to jog 2 rounds. More like brisk walking, actually.

There are alot of obstacles that I must overcome in order to get to the right weight.  But many people can do it. The biggest loser could do it. We should be able to do it.

A small  Fighting!!

End of a jogging day 2

Yesterday morning I brought Hajar to see the place I went the day before in KL.  The first time, I noticed jogging tracks so yesterday, dressed again in my jogging gears, left Hajar to overview the place and jogged away.(Should I keep this up? jogging everywhere?) Up slope, down slop, down slop, up slop, it was crazy tiring.  In the end, I did not have much energy left for the rest of the day but if I do not try to steal  time to jog, doing one thing at a time, it will never be done and these pounds will never disappear. The out of comfort zone moments are so discomforting.

In the morning soon, (it is 3.40am now) some relatives are coming for breakfast and probably I have to go jogging early. Normally, reasons like these would be the cause of no 'output', but now, come what may, outputting is a must.  I must have alot of 'fighting' in me, as the Koreans.  (Too much Korean movies.)

What would I give myself if I achieve this?  A holiday! Yes, A holiday somewhere nice.  And a camera. (see pic)  Or a short course in something interesting.  Huhu. This is hard......

End of a jogging day 1

This morning after sending Mimi to her bus to Selayang hospital at 6.30 am, I headed for KL to search for something.  I was wearing my jogging gears to fullfill my promise to myself to work harder, out of my comfort zone.

On my return, it was already 10 am, I still drove to the lake, hoping I could find some other late comers.  There was one, this veteran who was completing many rounds since I keep seeing him emerging after some time.  The sun was up and since the sun is a source of Vitamin D, so just keep jogging until you sweat.

Initially I wanted a regime I could keep forever, slow and steady, slowly but surely, not these spurts of energy, that after some time, would fizzle out. Unfortunately after some months,  it was not effective enough and Dr Alfi is starting to lose confidence in my many theories.

Now, I have to step up and jog in the evenings too. Then  Jiha called to come over and wanted to follow me to the lake as  I planned to shortcut to the Plaza Alam Central to get some detergent, then jog again.  You know, once a juggler, always a juggler.  So our jogging plans turned into a walk at the mall looking for Jiha's makeup after her boss instructed she improves on her grooming for Jiha's idea of coming naturally as you are is not shared or applicable at her workplace.

Then she got hungry and wanted to eat.  To accompany her, I ordered a light soupy noodle and picked on my food while Jiha dug into her lamb chops.

So much for a jogging day which would always have something to deter it from it's course. Always. Without fail.

Maybe I should put everything and everyone on hold until I get this weight down. Perhaps just go straight  charging by the lake, no belok belok.

Out of the comfort zone

74 kg. Not good enough.  Shall I give you stronger medication?

No, dr.  Give me another month. ( I have been busy, tough times, no kidding)

( Am I being too easy on Kak Izzah? )  Sigh..You remember our aim right?

Yup. 64 kg.  (miracles do happen)

I want to put this in your mind. Input and output.  Too much input and not enough output or no output.

Got it dr

So I have to give it more work now.  Changing my diet to less oil, less carbs, less sugar does not shed the stubborn pounds. Only 5 kg gone.  I must work harder. I must. I can do it.  Dr Alfi is losing his patience.

So I must get out of my comfort zone and get into the exercises.

Exercises is such a good thing.  It makes you feel good, look good, make good things happen like good sleep, you feel better and more energetic.  It improves your whole being because we humans are made to move and do things. It can help lower anxiety and depression.  Its a natural prozac. Free too.

So I have changed my sugar fixes to dates and figs. Drinking green tea.  (Good for you).  Cut down rice.  And plan to work out diligently.  Apply my sciences.  Wish me luck.

now the woes

Sorry picipu, if I cannot write about woes and sorrows, there is nothing to write.

Life is both pain and happiness,  interlacing as the flowers accepts  the sun, the rain and the storm.  Most titles are taken. There is the whiner, the cook who hates to cook, popeye's gf, the porcupines.  I would be the flower that grows in the dark.  FTGITD. Don't forget APITH. (A place in the heart)

How I pray for things not to happen, but alas, it still happens.

How I wish things would change, but alas,  they hadn't.

Lady luck, where art thou?  Whats wrong lady luck, why are you not coming this way?  Are you lost and  have not found me?  I am here, in Shah Alam at section 6.  Please, please LL, use your GPS.

I am but a clown. Yup. I have learnt on many occasions that I have the qualities of a clown.

I would very much like a make over but I feel I am too old to start caring about how I look and change my insides.  Especially the insides that took so long to learn. If I take a part away, the others might follow like a trail of thread that unwoven  the cloth.

I am reading a book on how to feel free and easy.  Free and easy?  You only feel free and easy when your problems sets for a while before it rises again in the morning.  Go away, it does not.

So for me, there is no free and easy.  There is only living in the grace of Allah swt.  To choose Him above everything else. To choose what He would want you to choose. And when He blesses you, while you feel unfree and uneasy, that would be your happiness.

come feb

Hello everyone! (Everyone would mean picipu and mamappgs)

Come feb I would like to wish happy birthday to many important people in my life. Chronologically by date, Kak Hanim, Nasaruddin, Idah, Intan, Aunty Yah, Aishah and Kak long.  Wah! So many Aquariuses.

I am back .....from... emmm....deep thoughts. hihi

Today I would like to share with you that  I was saved by someone with a big heart.  When you feel things are so bleak, someone comes and shed some light. When you feel how cold the world out there, someone comes to provide  you some warmth.

A big heart is good, you know.  They have extra love and extend it to others.  They are first to give and stretch out they hand.  They do it without any motives except to make you happier.

If we have someone like that in our life, we should keep them safe for you might not find another again. And I am lucky to have one, even though we are not very close or meet very often.

Hey, come to think of it, I think there are a few.. There are MFM, SMA, MSJ, .  There is MRZ and the latest, MAAG who have at some point,  been my mentors  and  beacons of hope.

Thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart, and learning from you all, I would try to be one too.  I love you all so much so much

What adults can learn from kids