staying within the circle

I listed down in my last post the things that we can do during our spare time which is permissable for a muslim.  I don't think we can be doing ibadat most of our time, can you? If you can, its very good.  Because I cannot, I believe in doing things which is fun but not prohibited in Islam.

We have to have a good balance of ibadat, tanggung jawab, silaturahim, riadah, ilmu, kebajikan and permissable worldly pursuits to be happy. Whatever Islam ask us to do is all good. It is how much you can do, and that depends on the individual.

On the highest scale are people who devote their life on the path of Allah. I know a few such people personally,  who has spent their  life, time and wealth on expanding the religion  of Allah or doing charitable causes or teaching religious studies. These are the true blue  A list people. (not the A list by western standards who are mostly celebrities)

Then there are people who have both, successful in their careers and personal lives and  fullfil their obligations as muslims. The B list. They are very respectable and powerful in our society and their names carry much weight.

Below these categories are a myriad of levels, each person with their story.  Some getting somewhere, some struggling, some still climbing, some learning from their falls and some starting all over.  And insyaAllah they will see the light at the end of the tunnel one day.

Its what we make out of our lives, whether it is easy or tough, that is significant  At the moment, I am far  away from the A and B list but I try, the best that I can, not to go againts the laws of Allah, by keeping it within the permissable circle. To tell you the truth, sometimes I do slip, then I crawl back in again. sigh...

Permissable activities

For a woman, anything that is permisable and does not include men.

1.Baking/cooking. Try out new recipes
2 Sewing/ any other crafts
3 Reading
4 Writing
5 Putting mask on the face (facial mask not masquerading mask)
6 Keep a recipe book
7 learn arabic so that can understand the Quran
8 Keep in touch with a friend
9 Collecting collectables
10. Give something for charity
11  Give donation to the needy. 10rm will do, more better
12  Think of a way to amar makruf nahi mungkar.  Put on your thinking cap and think how and tell me.
13  Gardening, pottering. Small plants, artificial plants and flowers
14  Visiting relatives and friends
15. Travelling and site seeing
16 Painting furniture like diana. When she has problems, she paints her furniture white. Her house is almost all white.
17 Sit around and chit chat
Do all this with people you love and I would appreciate suggestions to add on to the list for me to try out.

Too much tv is not good.

There is no tv in the long house. When we have nothing to do, Hajar and I would watch Cinta Balqis reruns on the net. Or sit around and talk when aishah comes back from the hospital, sometimes with Shaz too when she comes over. But they would fall asleep very quickly, then, back to Balqis.

Now back at the flat, mimi has installed astro, so after 2 weeks of being without tv, I have spent 3 days infront of one, while doing other things.  I love sitcoms or movies or cooking and travel channel , whatever is interesting and there are plenty on astro.

How do I give up watching tv? There are more bad then good on tv. Almost everything is unislamic. I am old so I notice but for growing kids, they absorb these ways and it grows with them. So unless we balance it up or weigh it down with solid Islamic values, these children would  be devoid of them and get attracted to what they pick up everyday on tv.

So, we have to bring in  some realities of Islam in our houses.  Solat and Quran reading, tazkirah or whatever that you can do to inculcate the values in our family. A few hours of Islamic hour, any activities that is encouraged by Islam. For example hand crafts, learn arabic, visiting, a good deed for the day, anything good. Its not easy since the Islamic values are not as contagious as the western ways which is everywhere.  By a press of a button would bring all the fun, the freedom and sex into our homes. The young ones would soak up all the stories, forgeting that  they are only stories,  and lost the sense of reality.

Please also note, the west is influenced by alchohol. And alchohol makes people lose their heads.They are always drinking  it, or putting it in their food (watch asian food channel and see).  We muslim does not even have a drop in our bodies, how can we ever be the same? Think the same or have the same values? A chinese friend of mine  once drank some beer at an office gathering and soon she forgot where she  stays and we did not know how to send her home.

And doa everyday as much as possible for our children to stay on the right path.

kesian haiti

Tomorrow I will be going back to house no 1. Its now 2 weeks in kuching and 2 weeks in shah alam. Until the ship finally harbours. Where will this poor harbour be, I don't know, I leave it to Allah swt. Anywhere I end up being, I hope only for a good ending, husnul khotimah.

Someone told me, at this present time of akhir zaman, we can only hope to die with iman, how we die, we don't know. Good people are not spared in Gaza, in Afganistan, Iraq,  in the earthquakes that are becoming more frequent than before, most recent in Haiti which is really heart rending.  The political unrests  that seemed to catch on in countries all over the world. Violence,  bombings and economic gloom that have tarnished our optimism for the future. We are worried by what is happening around us, worried if things does not improve.

To me, not much point worrying.  We must work hard to see that we have done our responsibilities before our time here is up. Repent for our past sins, live properly in our present and prepare for the future.  Make sure we do our fulfill our obligatory ibadats, lead an honest life and live on halal earnings, use our spare time in beneficial ways, use our spare provisions in the ways that brings us the blessings of Allah. As is stated in the Quran;

"(Mereka itu ialah) orang-orang yang bertaubat, yang beribadat, yang memuji Allah, yang mengembara (untuk menuntut ilmu dan mengembangkan Islam), yang rukuk, yang sujud, yang menyuruh berbuat kebaikan dan yang melarang daripada kejahatan, serta yang menjaga batas-batas hukum Allah. Dan gembirakanlah orang-orang yang beriman (yang bersifat demikian)" (Surah at-Taubah 112)

And accept whatever that is to come with the same openheartedness as we do during the good times. Because lahaulawalakuwata illa billah. We have no power over what will happen, but if Allah wills good on us, no bad will ever befall on us and vice versa.  But at least,  when bad things befallen upon us, we have something to bring with us to our graves.

Memories of tabligh.

In those days there were 3 active Islamic Movements in our country that I know about. Al Arqam with its halal food products, Abim with the  participation of students and lecturers of higher education and Jemaah Tabligh.  Nasaruddin and I were following Jemaah Tabligh then.

I was 19 when I got married to Nasarudin who was already active doing dakwah work through this jemaah.  So I followed him. I have to tell you early that deep in my heart, I found it one of the best movements as it has nothing not to agree with. It was only me who was not ready for such a commitment and sacrifice. At that time, I did not have much in me. Nor now.

But we got to go to India! I got to meet wonderful Tablighi sisters in the jemaah. Women who gave their life to this work.  They devoted their time in dakwah, inviting people to hear about Islam, speaking on Islam, and dakwah through their actions as well, serving Allah and serving us in jemaah  tirelessly.  I met both rich and poor people in this line, both giving as much as they could.

Sad to say, I did not transformed into a role model like those that I have met. But the memories being in jemaah  left it's  imprint permanently.  Like the beauty of having many languages speaking about deen at one time, or the sincerity and friendship between those in this work or the help from Allah that happens when we help Allah's deen. 

I think, I am not good enough to be chosen.  For example, when we are on the road, when other sisters were doing their zikir, or reading the Quran, I will be the only one looking out of the vehicle and my head turning here and there to see the whole place. I am not serious enough, for one thing. Could not even observe the purdah properly.  But I cherished that chance to be with these truly wonderful  people who could do it.

I still remember soleha, sabrina, mariam apa, aminah apa,  dr apa,  raihana apa, shaheeda apa, iqbal apa , mrs chowdery and her daughters and many many others I met in this work.   May Allah bless them in every way. Amin. I wonder if they remember me after all these years.

2 rainbows

Yesterday was a special day. I saw an eclipse for the first time in my life. I saw it at the end of the show, a small semicircle shadow left on  the sun, like a biscuit bitten at the edge. But before that, the most wonderful rainbow arched across Kuching town, the whole bow, bringing glorious colours to the otherwise cloudy sky, since it has been raining everyday.  I love rainbows, I don't know why, just love them. Then, as I was turning into the hospital to pick up Aishah, a smaller rainbow formed under the first rainbow, now fading.  Really!!. Subhanallah Walhamdulilah. Unfortunately, all the highlights of the day got dampened by Aishah falling sick and was full of spots when she came out from work.  Oh Well...La haulawalakuwata illa billah.

Thank you for your kind reviews.  Thank you for reading. Thank you for liking what I write. I write not to inspire but to brighten and enlighten your day. With a sprinkle of dakwah. Sometimes I can write happy articles but sometimes my miseries does leak out unavoidably.  We all know that life can be hard, though the lucky ones does have a smoother sail. All this is our takdir, therefore, we have to 'redha' because if we do not, we do not get Allah's help. Allah gives us our trials and troubles, but Allah gives guidance to those who has iman.  And we have to believe in Qada' and Qadar . We the servants of Allah could only do our best with the help from our sabar and our solat. And non-stop doa.

Arwah mummy would doa after she takes her wudu', after she hears the azan as additional to the usual ones after her solat. It really works for her, for she always get what she wishes for.  The other mustajab times are when it rains, when the cock crows or during the wee mornings. Just keep the doas going come rain or shine, smiles or tears.   If we think of Allah during our good times, Allah will think of us during our bad times.

We do not always get what we pray for. But if we take the trouble to notice, there are many things that Allah has given us other than what we want. For all things big or small, we should be grateful.  How can we be grateful for the small things when we are not grateful for the big things.Or are we grateful at all?

2 rainbows! I would have been happy with 1.  MasyaAllah 2x.

Islamic Brother Bear...

a bit more about Mok

Thinking of Mok gives me strength......

more about Mok

Nowadays the tepak sireh can only be seen when someone is getting engaged or nikah, as an important part of the hantaran.  More a decorative item than a functional set of small tools.  Mok's tepak sireh was very important in our household since Mok takes her fixes of sireh a few times a day.  There is the 'gobek,' a brass cylinder with a removeable stopper at the bottom,  with the pestal, a short iron rod with a knob on top. There is the 'cekati', a kind of manual slicer that looks like a nut cracker with a blade and  small brass  goblets to put the condiments.  The sireh concoction is made out of sireh, lime (kapur)  sliced thinly beettle-nut, gambir and clove. Then push it all down the gobek and pound. When all is pounded into a thick mush, push up the stopper and pop the mixture into the mouth. In a few minutes, your mouth turns orange and it does not even taste nice.

I would be the one to do the pounding. And I would do it while  listening to the radio, or watching tv or talking to friends on the phone or dreaming.

I remember one day, Mok advised me, 'Mek, nati mung  nikoh ore kayo neh, mung toksoh nikoh ore sesok, baghu la muko mung minyok molek' (You must marry a rich man, not a poor man, only than your face would have a healthy glow). She wanted good things for me. Probably I was pretty to her eyes that she thought  I can easily catch a big fish.

If she had been alive, I would have dissapointed her for not marrying a rich man and failing alot in my personal life. She would think all her nagging was in vain. Come to think of it, things does not really change from how they were before. Those who were with her are the ones who are with me now. Its only me who hoped that some things would change.

When Mok passed away, the first light bulb of my life went out.  And the rest is history.

Arwah Mok

Let's not go there again.  You take a peep into your past and touch a sore point and it all comes gushing out like a broken pipe. Let's not go there again.

Whom do you find inspiring?  Allah makes people in many sizes.  Some large, some smallish, some just right, some petite.  But actually the size of the spirit is more important than the size of your physical. It is the spirit in you that determines whether you make it through.

I am lucky to be related to many people full of spiritedness. Sometimes their spirit serves as a pain to many  but there are more good than bad. My great grandmother was one.  When I came into this world, she was in her 60's but she slogged her remaining years, taking care of us, eventhough we had  maids. She had a bad knee and limped as long as I could remember.

Boy, she loves to nag.  The maids keep changing. She gave them a hard time with her wanting it the right way, or her way, more like it.  She belongs to the ancient school, therefore we don't really know how she wants it to be. So we get nagged all the time, even when we don't do anything.

But I love her very much. Her nagging was because she loved us too much.  I still remember when I was in primary school, I followed the neighbours to the beach to wait for the fishing boats in the evening. From far away,  I saw her limping on the road. I was very suprised she could walk so far and as soon as she got to the distance where we could see each other, she was waving for me to go to her.  Then we walked home together and eventhough I was mad I could not see the fishes, I felt bad for making her walk so far, and surrendered . I never went again.

She left me the ayat kursi.  She would read it everynight and blow at me in 4 directions, until it became ingrained. She could read the Quran and for a person who is born in 1890s, that is very impressive.

Arwah Mok or Mok, as we called her, never stopped until she was very frail. She never stopped to leave us uncorrected.  So, girls, be ready....

Cock-a-doodle-doo

The chickens and roosters from my neighbour's house are clucking and crowing loudly.  It reminds me of being in a kampung.  This row of terrace has a kampung feel to it.  Maybe because of the chickens and the green vacant land filled with ferns and lalang , infront of our houses. The sun rises earlier here than in Semenanjung. Syuruk is at 6.30 am.

We build an armour to fend off what could hurt us. The armour can be in many forms. Denial, running away, blocking off memories  or locking the memories and stashing  it away somewhere in our brain or heart , or to numb off all feelings, that you don't feel pain or happiness anymore. Alhamdulilah for the solat and doa and that Allah helps us when we are feeling weak. Alhamdulilah Allah is with the weak and downtrodden. The best is always to face and conquer the hardship or problem, but sometimes, if you are not strong enough,  facing it can put a dent in our mind or your heart.

I have a few plans here. First, maybe, change number.Then I want to buy some plants for the porch.  I would like to buy a book shelf and start filling it up with books that I finish reading.  Then I would like to rear chickens like Mr Ah Jun. I want to buy some artificial flowers to sweeten up the house. And maybe some ceramics to put in the show case. If Gee collects  apple painted ceramics, I  choose lemons and plums.

I pray to Allah to grant my father happiness and ease with his family.  To my brothers too, I pray for their successes, and my sister, I hope her plans work out. Be happy everyone!

The story of Umm Uthman

An inspiring reminder

http://muslimmatters.org/2009/08/31/positively-muslim-in-the-west-ramadan-special/

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Asma bint Yazid radi Allahu anha reported that the Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam said, “Shall I tell you who is the best of you?” “Yes,” they replied. He said, “Those who remind you of Allah when you see them.” [Adab al Mufrad, Graded Hasan by Shaykh Albaani]

I love watching her, especially when she prays. She doesn’t see me looking at her, but every time I see Umm Uthman, I become overwhelmed with emotion and humility. She is of the few people that truly remind me of Allah azza wa jal every single time I see her. She is one of the even fewer people that I truly see noor glowing from their face. Whenever I go to greet her, she will hold my hand tightly and feel my wrist, as if it’s how she recognizes me now that she cannot see. Her strong memory puts me to shame as she asks me about things I told her months or years ago like I told her about it yesterday.

The reason why Umm Uthman is receiving recognition is not because she is a blind elderly woman, but because she is a blind student of the Qur’an striving to complete her memorization in her 70s.

Umm Uthman, as I will refer to her in this post, is a family friend of my parents. She is a woman in her late 70s who still wears full khimar (below her knees) and jelbab although she is beyond the age of covering.

I first met her nearly 10 years  ago when she still had her eyesight, but it was beginning to weaken due to a brain tumor which alhamdulillah was removed. I remember going to visit her and she would use the walls as a support/guide to navigate in her house. As her sight started to go and ultimately went, she never once openly complained or talked in such a way that caused others to pity her. Now being completely blind, she has the support of her children or grandchildren guiding her and a walking stick.

After Umm Uthman and her family moved a bit further away from us, we didn’t see her and her family as much but still stayed in contact.

Last year, while attending a fundraiser for a local Qur’an school, the director of the school announced that they would like to introduce one of their special students. I thought it was going to be a very young child who perhaps finished their memorization, but instead I see Umm Uthman walk on the stage with the help of a sister. The director, knowing that Umm Uthman does not know English, goes on to tell the audience her story and that Umm Uthman is a hard working student of their school, coming regularly even though she crosses into the neighboring state to attend. He asked her to recite some Qur’an and she began to recite from a powerful surah that she recently finished memorizing:

ص ۚ وَالْقُرْآنِ ذِي الذِّكْرِ

Saad. By the Qur’an, full of reminders. (38:1)

I sat there, in complete awe, as this blind elderly woman recited the Book of Allah moving  many in the audience to tears. I had no idea that she was a student at the school, so I was eager to talk to her after the event. She told me she just finished memorizing her seventh juz of Qur’an, mashaAllah. I asked her to recite her favorite surah to me, and she began to read from Surah Zumar:

تَنزِيلُ الْكِتَابِ مِنَ اللَّهِ الْعَزِيزِ الْحَكِيمِ

إِنَّا أَنزَلْنَا إِلَيْكَ الْكِتَابَ بِالْحَقِّ فَاعْبُدِ اللَّهَ مُخْلِصًا لَّهُ الدِّينَ

The revelation of this Book is from Allah, the All-Mighty, the All-Wise. Verily We have sent down the Book to you  in truth: So worship Allah (Alone) by doing religious deeds sincerely for Allah’s sake only. (39:1-2)

I finally got to see Umm Uthman again at the masjid for taraweeh prayers. It has become my habit now that I ask her how much more she has memorized since our last conversation because she always increases in her hifdh mashaAllah. When I asked her after prayer, she told me she couldn’t remember the name of the surah but read the first ayah to me and I told her the name of the surah and that she has almost completed a third of the Qur’an mashaAllah.

I think of myself and all of the youth who have the ability to read and see the words of Allah while she cannot, who may know Arabic while she does not, who have easy access to knowledge while she does not, yet we do not have a relationship with the Qur’an like Umm Uthman. Her determination and love for the Qur’an is an inspiration to me, so I hope that inshaAllah you will be inspired as well.

I interviewed Umm Uthman after taraweeh prayers and asked her a few questions (this is a translation of her answers):

Q: Why do you memorize the Qur’an?

I memorize to remove myself from the hell-fire and to receive the bishaarah (glad tidings) of Jannah. Through the Qur’an I seek the hereafter.

Q: What is your routine like for memorizing and reviewing?

Before I started going to the Qur’an school, I would memorize only one ayah every week. I memorize more at the Qur’an school now, maybe seven-eight ayaat a week. I have tapes that I listen to and repeat with, that is how I memorize, repeating the ayah over and over. I ask my grandchildren to help me with the tapes and to read the ayaat with me as well.

Q: Did you hear any negative words from anyone, such as you’re too old to memorize?

A man once came to the school and saw me reviewing and told my teacher, “why is this old woman here?! what is the point of her learning??” and the my teacher responded, “you don’t know her, she is almost done memorizing the Qur’an!” Alhamdulillah, no one else at the school said anything to me, they all encourage me.

Q: What is your favorite surah to recite?

Surah Zumar! I love reciting it in prayer.

Q: What is special to you about the Qur’an?

It is my way of coming close to Allah. Through the Qur’an, I seek nearness to Him. [Note: she then began talking about the Qur'an like it was her friend]

Q: What advice do you have for the youth and those who want to memorize?

May Allah guide them and us! I advise them to seek to come closer to Allah and to find peace in memorizing His Book – may Allah continue to guide them. Our deen and emaan are the most valuable to us.

After asking her these questions, I narrated to her the hadeeth qudsi of the Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam:

“Allah, the Glorious and Exalted said: “When I afflict my slave in his two dear things (i.e., his eyes), and he endures patiently, I shall compensate him for them with Jannah.” [Bukhari]

She responded to me in the affirmative, that she knew this hadeeth and that she is patient with her eyesight only for the sake of Allah. She then said to me a beautiful statement: “When you have emaan in your heart, true emaan, then that is your eyesight.” Indeed she spoke the truth as Allah ta’ala says in surah Hajj:

فَإِنَّهَا لَا تَعْمَى الْأَبْصَارُ وَلَـٰكِن تَعْمَى الْقُلُوبُ الَّتِي فِي الصُّدُورِ

Verily, it is not the eyes that grow blind, but it is the hearts which are in the breasts that grow blind. (22:46)

The Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam narrated in an authentic hadeeth, “The helpers (awliya’) of Allah the Exalted are those whom, when they are seen, Allah is remembered.” (Saheeh al Jaami’)

I ask Allah ta’ala to make Umm Uthman from His Awliyaa’, from the Companions of the Qur’an and its People. May Allah grant her a good end with the glad tidings of angels in this life and ultimate success with the greetings of the angels in the next, Ameen.

love stories

Alhamdulilah Syukur to Allah for opening a road to Kuching for me.  At least I am given a chance to be away for a while from the 'other people's'  lives.

What's life without love stories, huh?

 Life is made out of love stories. It is always because of a love story.

What can be worse then to be connected to a love story that  does not include you.  What more when another love story  has turned into something twisted and bad. 

My father's  present wife loves him so much that she has made me up to be a murderer. I may be erratic at times, foolish, maybe stupid and even wierd , but a killer, I am not.

My father's love for my mum is bigger than this world, that everything else boils down to nothing. It is really truly amazing. There is no rhyme and reason when it comes to my parents' relationship. To put it all behind me, after my mum passed away, I took their picture and went to a beach.  I brought a big rock with me and walked far from the shores as the tide was down.  It was more than half km when I stopped, dugged a hole, buried their picture and put the big rock on it.  And bid adieu to the greatest love of all.  And walked back to where Gee was waiting for me.

That night it rained unusually very  heavily.  It is possible the picture floated to the ocean. Their love is indeed of great proportions.

The Long House (corrected)

Aishah rented a house for us in Kuching. All this while we stayed at a homestay that cost 50rm a day.  Since we come here very often,  we might as well rent. I call this house The Long House , synonymous to Sarawak but more so  because it is long. The owner renovated and extended it right to the end.

It has been a while since I lived in a terraced house. For the past  few years we have lived in flats on the 9th floor and on the 4th floor, the 4th floor being walk up. All the climbing of stairs, with groceries, with books, with luggages.  Never thought I could live on a landed house, eventhough in Kuching, Alhamdulilah.

It is a new housing area behind Kuching Airport, near the army camp. Our previous homestay was  at the other far end of Kuching, where there were mountains in the background.  No mountains here but there are alot of projects coming up, a huge one being  the Kuching Central, not far from this place. The nearest commercial area is Kota Sentosa , with big supermarkets, and important shops such as Pizza Hut and  KFC, and of course, clinics and market place.

My moving of houses is legandery. Lost track of how many houses I have moved to.   It is also a joke to many people. They will say, what? Again???  I have not stopped moving, as though I have not found a home. I always felt like a ship unable to find a harbour, sailing and sailing and sailing.  Luckily  I am  not the Titanic, or I would have  hit an iceberg and sank.

You see, I lived in 2 worlds. My dad was a liberal Singaporean (he has changed now)  and my mum was a staunch Kelantanese, and they eventually threw the towel.   And I am a by product of 2 very  different wave length,  2 different way of life, 2 different preference, 2 different plans and 2 different interest. I cannot help being mixed up! ( A better word for confused)

To describe clearly how it was, this is how. My late mother would ask me to follow her to study Tasauf  from this religious teacher and I did not because it is 'too high' for me. My dad asked me whether I want to attend  his good friend's son's wedding in Las Vegas (not to gamble)  and I did not, because Vegas does not give a good picture . See?

At 46 I am still finding my place. Pathetic kan?

ayam kicap mimi

1. goreng ayam

2. tumis bwg merah n bawang puteh

3. campak kayu manis, bunga lawang n adek-beradeknye

4. masok oyster sos (jgn byk sgt tau nnt masen)

5. pastu masok kicap manis

6. buboh sedikit aer ya tuan2 puan2

7. patu bubohla garam ke gule ke secukop rase ya

8. campak ayam td

9. HIDANG bersama nasi putih..

HEHEHEHEhehe...sedapnye mi masak..nyam2..tp x bes...mkn sorang..isskkk ma balik la ma..

The Johor/ Singapore tree.

I have been travelling quite alot these days, so much so, that when I am waiting, I have to recheck, "which station am I at right now?". There was kucing airport, lcct, kl central,  pudu raya, medan gopeng, section 17, larkin, persada johor and rouchor in Spore,  coming and going. Its quite tiring, but, have to go.

My father sends alms once or twice a year to his family in Johor Bahru and Singapore and he would ask me to deliver it. I do it to please the old man and it is a chance to see my relatives .

Imagine another tree. Good sturdy tree, solid, strong branches and  pretty blossoms,  except that there was a yellow line around this tree.

When my parents divorced, my mother became possessive over  her children and she prefered everyone to go to Kota Bahru. With my dad who had long left Singapore,  now has another family in Melaka, and  he too,   goes back only on certain occasions.  My mother had passed away, and my dad is old and taken, the yellow line is slowly fading.

I would describe my father's side as very javanese. And they are. They are amiable, good hearted, hardworking and honest people with strong family values. From my late uncle, Paklong Haji Buang, a well respected electrician who was known for his impeccable work, his wife Maklong Ah Ah (Zaleha) a perfectionist Quran teacher, whose house is spick and span and spotless from since I was young till now. My aunt, Cik Ipah who makes the best sambal goreng in the world. My cousin brother, Abang Amin who is always there for me, and his wonderful in every way wife, Kak Limah.   To Aunty Embem an art teacher, Aunty Salamah, a teacher for special children, Aunty Naemah, a nurse. All of them, of whom I have lovely memories,  eventhough we meet once in a blue moon. (Except for Arwah Paklong and family whom I grew up with from 13 to 15 years old ) And many others, older and younger,  from ailing Nek Ton to Wan Umar Munzir, who starts nursery school today.

Love you all.

The Pride of Islam

What money can't buy

"Truly in the heart there is a void that can not be removed except with the company of Allah. And in it there is a sadness that can not be removed except with the happiness of knowing Allah and being true to Him. And in it there is an emptiness that can not be filled except with love for Him and by turning to Him and always remembering Him. And if a person were given all of the world and what is in it, it would not fill this emptiness."
- Ibn al-Qayyim al-Jawziyyah

Think

yesterday we finished rounds early.everybody was in good mood, and many babies were discharged, which equals to more free time. after we discussed the progress of our last patient, my specialist called all of us up:

"ok people,come lets have a talk. i want u all to think what have u done in 2009 that made u proud of yourself and what do you want to do in 2010. we have to think this way so that we can improve ourselves.u can share it with all of us here or you can keep it to yourself. u have to think what u want to achieve and what to do in the future from now on, dont let the time pass, dont be like us last time." he called our names one by one. and we shared our visions. something nice to ponder and talk about before we walked out from nursery going back home.

it's hard being adults. 

so many things to think.
so many decisions to make.
so many bills to pay.
so many work to do.