The child in me

Alhamdulillah i landed safely in Kuching, not much earache this time.
And now i'm home. Alone. Again. Hm.
Never mind. I had a good holiday anyway.

I wish i had a longer holiday. I already miss everybody.
Nobody to squeak to.
Sob sob..
Mama...mama..huhu...

Life must go on eh.

To Myself: Sabar, sabar.
To Hajar: Get up, get up ! Go go go
To Mama: Get your writings published.
To Mimi: Pakai stoken weh

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A man travels the world over in search of what he needs, and returns home to find it.
- George Moore

How much time have passed

The water, coconut trees and white sand take me back to the times I brought the girls to beaches when they were young. With  eyes never leaving them, while they get into the fringes of  the water, to splash one another or pretending to swim or spluttering when the sea water go into their noses.  I was always calling out, "cukup kat situ je, jangan pegi jauh-jauh". We would go up to have something to eat, then go into the water again. They would bring plenty of sand on them into the car and back to the house , all sun-kissed and brown.

Now they bring me (and pay the bills!) and they will go snokelling far into the sea without me as I no longer have the stamina to follow, only not  missing a few dips in the pristine clear waters around the island . Mimi with her SLR taking beautiful photographs to be shared on flikr.  That too brought me to the past when I brought their art things for them to draw the beach during their resting time. Now they go clicking away, editing using their laptops the most gorgeous sunsets.  A thousand steps more advanced then their watercolour paintings which I still keep till today. How much time have passed.

Aishah will be going back to Kuching tomorrow, sunburned but hopefully all geared to take on the challenges at the hospital.  Hopefully Mimi  is getting better at photography and Hajar finds inspiration to what she wants to do.  As for me....I will write on this blog, insyaAllah.

It seemed that we visit one island every year since 2008 and I hope before Aishah comes back to Semenanjung, we will go to Sipadan Island in Sabah.

Let the pictures tell the story

A place in the sun- second day

Morning

After subuh, I looked out to catch the first sign of sunrise only to be told by Aishah, the sun does not rise in the same direction as it sets. Of course  I know that very well but missed it somehow this morning.

Then it rained heavily. No morning walk by the beach this morning for us. I saw the ferry coming in on the very choppy water and people walking to the jetty to get on the first trip to mainland. Hmm..what the sea people go through, fishermen, boaters, ferriers, they can brave the sea in these conditions.

Mimi woke up early and got ready but it rained again and now she is back to sleep.

Hajar is getting breakfast ready with whatever we have. Luckily we brought some Maggi mee, biscuits and bread. Wahidah also packed durians, bubur durian and many sachets of beverages for us.  Wahidah is the girls' stepmom. I thank Allah for not making their stepmother like my stepmother.  May Allah bless us all in this short life.

A place in the sun

We are in Tioman Island.  Aishah is back and it is Mimi's year end break,  Aishah wants to treat us all to an Island getaway. She needs one during this high pressure housemanship to defuse and rejuvenate. Three hours drive from Muar to Mersing and a one and hour ferry ride, we find ourselves for the first time in Tioman where the water is clear greenish aquamarine, filled with schools of fishes of  many types that scrambled over the pieces of bread thrown into the water as we arrived at the jetty.

I have been to Langkawi, Pangkor and now Tioman.  We went to Perhentian Island long time ago. Unlike Bahiah and family of the well known Kids-Scuba, whose passion for Islands and diving turned into a lucrative family business, my attraction to Islands is lukewarm. But I do enjoy it nevertheless. 

The waters makes me retrospect into our lives. Where we have been. Where we are going. What is happening to us. A bit of muhasabah here and there.  Islands do this to me with the closure of cleansing it all away in the water.

I thought tonight we would sit and have a serious talk, on whatever  concerning our lives. What we are unhappy or worried about.  Get to the bottom of our problems and find a solution.  What we are set out to do as an individual, as a family.

These getaways are good to get away from our day to day  and dream of change.  But as soon as we go back home, we fall back into the same pattern. I really hope this time it is different. May this place in the sun shine some light on our search for a better life.

pix again! :D

since mi don't have the talent to write, i only can share with you some of my pics ya..enjoy!!

My dazzling grandmother

My step-grandmother Cek is one classy lady.  Try putting her in KL spotlight and I am sure she would grace the magazine covers at least once in her lifetime.  Fortunately she lived in the smaller world of Kota Bharu lest, is only known to her circle of family and friends.

My aunties chide me for doting on her,  and being oblivious to the difficult time she gave her children.  Hehe. My mother (their sister) wasn't easy to please too, so no sweat. Anyway, Cek doesn't mind me. She knows that I think the world of her.

Besides flawless fair skin, slim figure, her impeccable dressing, her wit, her sharp mind and her fierce winning streak, I love her finnese.  I have not seen a women who could say what she wants, get what she wants but does it with such flair that you always find yourself succumbed and side-tracked without you realising.

I can write lengths about her dressing.  She never leaves the house unless she looks
like a million dollars. Her beautiful baju kurungs given by her children, her dazzling jewelleries of gold, diamonds and precious stones adorning her body  add sparkles to her already grand persona. She loves to have blinking stones on her shoes or tudung and uses branded handbags, all put together splendidly without over dressing.

We can speak to her about anything and she has alot to comment, sizing down the situation or person into pieces which only a person who has lived long enough to know and do.  She may be 80 of age, but her agile body and mind put us all to shame.  Never giving up to the slowing down process we go through,  Cek keeps on living life with remarkable style as she always had.

I have asked her for tips. The few she gave was, read the Quran everyday and do not sleep in the afternoon.   Also to be active. Personally,  I feel it is her love for diamonds that makes her feels 'anggun' , thinks anggun and looks anggun. Diamonds have that effect, you know.  I do not have any diamonds but then again, I am not Cek, not by a long mile. I should learn a few things from her, and head for Habib Jewels so that I could get some admirers.

Eventhough I am only a step-grandaughter, Cek is the only grandmother that I know. I do not know my real grandmother, as she lives another life, nor  my paternal grandmother, who died before I was born. Regardless of the ups and downs that we went through in the past, Cek has filled up that role for me. As all have ended well for mostly everyone, and for that, we should appreciate the people in our lives, for you will never find a replacement for any of them. (picture: cek in home clothes and sunglasses)

Daddy-O

Do you notice in a person's profesion, he carries his expertise outside his working life too?  If you are friends with a teacher, notice how well she impart facts and information.  If you have a doctor friend, they are such healers that being with them, you feel something in you healing. To some business-minded friends, profitmaking is so important that if you do not give them any advantage, they might not have time for you. Charity worker who always brings stray cats home?

My father is an accountant. He always...well..counts everything.   There is an internal calculator in his mind. It goes like this..... silent whirllllll (indicating it is on) tap tap tap...then, Tiiiing (press button)..TOTAL! (approve, not approve)

My pocket money when I was young was 'just enough', no fringes. Bak took everything into consideration, inflation, pendapatan negara kasar, cost of living, price of commodity, kl composite index, type of person  I am, compared to what he had (which was nothing) and comes up with a modest amount to be spent just as carefully.  I was never splashed or splurged on, I never knew whats its like to indulge in  'kite enjoy' life style.

BUT, Bak takes care of everyone in his calculating ways.  Many people, especially his relatives, have been helped financially by him.  For that, we are all forever grateful.

There is not much I can tell about my father.  He looks a typical javanese, but moves like a chinese tycoon. hehe. He has never told us about his past. I don't think that is  because there is nothing to tell, not with what he has made for himself, but maybe it is too hard to tell. Lets leave it be, he is too old  to be reminded of what he wants to forget.

We do not speak much.  We leave the bad unspoken, so goes the good. With all that happens, it is better to speak less.

Our parents aren't perfect, and neither are we. And since Father's Day is just round the corner and he does not read this blog, Happy Father's Day, Bak.

Find your strength

I recommend you to read about finding your strength by Marcus Buckingham.  He believes that we have more chances of succeeding if we find our natural strength and go from there.

Wardina has written 2 books and she said on MHI, quote" if you want to write, just write" unquote.  I still have nothing to write about....and time is running out.

Wardina Saffiyah, an epitome of success. Mother of three, career plus anchor women, famous, beautiful and Islamic and now a writer. Allah has blessed her with many good things, Alhamdulillah. I plan to go to MPH to buy her books.

Actually I have so many interesting people around me, because  those that come my way are indeed quite out of the ordinary. Believe me!  Even my cat Shushu is not an ordinary cat. She wakes me up at the most precise moment. Time like when I have not prayed Isyak,  or when my nap overshot into magrib.  She likes high places and looks down to everything especially Giogio.

Giogio too is interesting.   He is a jealous cat. If we hold Shushu, he will come and gets angry with Shushu until we put her down.  Otherwise he won't even answer to his name.  Nothing registers.

To the unmotivated Hajar, or the bogged-down with work Aishah or the young and restless Mimi, or burned out Mama, we all have our stories.  Intan still owes me part 4.

My grandmothers are beauties of  'wanita-wanita melayu terakhir' class , my aunties are icons of their society or kampung, my parents with their 'what they have to go through' stories.

The interesting men and women that added input in my life. Both good and bad.

Friends that stayed, friends that went.

Nice employers, nasty employers.

Forever etched in my memory. 

To be shared.  But nice things only.

thinking too much?

Life is like a coffee